The Road To Papagayo: A Quick Guide To Southern Lanzarote

 

Lanzarote shows off its distinct browness

It's Lanzagrotty! Hordes of uncouth, sunburnt tourists, herd from beach to tacky bar and back again. Second rate cocktail lounges vie for tourist dollars with Karaoke bars, bad restaurants and fast food outlets. Seedy hotels with their cockroach ridden rooms and algae infested swimming pools litter the seafront. During the day the resorts swelter under a miasma of heat and rotten seaweed whilst at night the air is tinged with the stench of sweat, cheap perfume and vomit. Ah yes, if you're a hormonal teenager with galloping acne who's out to get drunk fast, copulate with whatever member of the opposite sex hasn't started vomiting yet and then sleep off the excesses of the night on the beach then Lanzarote is the place for you. Except of course it's not. The idea of Lanzarote being a grotty little island full to bursting with the sort of people you'd move house to avoid being near is as far from the truth as a conspiracy theorist's rants about the moon landings.

Yes there are still some tacky areas, mainly in Playa Blanca, but on the whole Lanzarote has picked itself up from the sawdust strewn floor of mass tourism, dusted itself down, shuck two fingers in the air to teenage hormones and sauntered off toward the promised land of five star hotels, swanky marinas and fashion boutiques. Yep, Lanzarote has gone upmarket. 

So if it's not sun, sea, sex and dysentery infused burgers anymore, what can a visitor to the Island now expect? We stayed in the South and due to the short duration of our trip we were unable to venture any further so we will be concentrating on this part of the Island. Beside its year long sunshine and distinct lack of rainfall Lanzarote has one other all encompassing feature, it's brown. Really, really brown. In fact, if you got a minute, it's a dreary, dusty, sewage like brown that brings to mind what a post apocalyptic world might look like. In short it is bloody ugly. Which of course was one of the other reasons the island was called grotty in the first place. Still, even the most ugly of places have redeeming features and if you're the type of person who finds post apocalyptic landscapes somewhat attractive then these redeeming features of castles, museums, craft shops and wild west themed parks will be a bonus. If you're not the sort of person that finds barren, windswept vistas, remotely attractive and think castles, museums and Spanish men dressing up like cowboys a little dull then there is always the beaches. Lanzarote has one hundred of them and most are of the golden sand variety. 

 

Sunset in Puerto Marina Rubicon

The main resort in the South is Playa Blanca. A hot-potch of bars, shops and hotels that still hanker back to the Islands less salubrious past although things are definitely improving. Not far along the coast is the more upmarket Puerto Marina Rubicon. This is a glitzy little region that has fashion boutiques, high-class restaurants that overlook the expensive yachts in the marina and the rather nice Bar One, a sort of yacht owners come SCUBA divers drinking establishment situated right at the end of the Marina. Puerto Marina Rubicon plays hosts to Jason deCaires Taylor's Atlantic Museum workshop and the underwater museum itself is but a short boat trip away. The marina is also home to a large dive centre, located next to Bar One, which caters rather nicely for the needs of the average bubble blower. Then there are all the other sporty outlets and clubs that cater for sea anglers, kayakers, sailing enthusiasts and hikers. But since we are none of them let's get to the point, what is the snorkelling like?

Castille de Colarados where the walk to Papagayo starts

In the south of the island there are two places to dip your head beneath the waters. The first is the marine reserve around Papagayo Beach. Papagayo is situated in a national park and can be reached by foot or car. The drive is less than twenty minutes from the centre of Puerto Marina Rubicon but be aware that as you reach the outskirts of the national park the smooth road gives way to the sort of rock strewn dirt track that brings a smile to face of dodgy car hire salesmen everywhere. So make sure your car hire insurance covers tyres, windscreen and underside of the vehicle or you'll be facing a very unexpected and very expensive bill when you hand the car back. If you fancy walking to Papagayo, follow the promenade path that starts at Castille de Colorados. The path circumnavigates the Sandos Beach resort hotel to avoid a steep climb at the end of the beach (check out this site for specific directions) and depending on your fitness levels can take anything from 30 minutes to one and a half hours.

Papagayo Beach

Papagayo is the fourth beach along the coast and nestles between two headlands. Just before you reach Papagayo there is a small pebble beach located beneath the cafe on the hill. This tiny beach is a little difficult to reach - requiring some basic climbing - but if you do endeavour to reach it, you'll find the perfect, isolated location to launch your snorkelling adventure from. Further back along the coast path, before you reach the cafe, you'll find another small cove. This cove is much easier to reach and has pristine sand but be aware, due to its ease of access yet sense of isolation from the main beaches, this small sandy cove does attract the au naturel crowd. And let's be honest, there is nothing more disturbing for people who like to get their dangly bits out than a snorkeller popping up unexpectedly, and there is nothing more disturbing for a snorkeller than suddenly finding dangly bits, swinging to-and-fro in front of your mask. 

The pebble beach below the cafe

The marine life at Papagayo is large and varied and if you know where to look you can come across some interesting specimens. As a rule it is best to arrive early as marine life tends to disappear as the water warms and the hordes of tourists start frolicking and splashing about in the water. Also try to avoid the habit of less seasoned snorkellers and hang around looking at sandy bottoms (and no that's not an euphemism) and instead head into the rocks where the sea life is more abundant. If you do this, then along with the usual suspects such as mullet, bream, wrasse and damselfish, you'll also encounter lizard fish and blennies lurking among the rocky crags. Bright orange cardinal fish can be found sheltering beneath overhangs and starfish, wide-eyed flounders, urchins and sponges litter the sea floor. Head further from shore and you'll find squadrons of needlefish menacing silver bogue that cluster together in giant swirling balls for protection. If you're very lucky you might even catch a glimpse of a barracuda, stingray or turtle. 

 

Shoaling Bogue

A predatory needlefish

A Rough Tail Stingray sweeps along the sand

The second place is really for the more adventurous and consists of a secretive little pebble beach opposite the Castille de Colorados in Puerto Marina Rubicon itself. The beach is a short walk from the Atlantic Museum workshop and is reached by a tricky path that is not recommended for the less nimble. Once at the bottom you'll find a perfect rocky shoreline that is filled to the brim with marine life. A word of warning though, if you are leaving anything on the beach, make sure you leave it as far back against the cliff face as possible, as the tide here comes in far and fast. And don't think that just because the pebbles are dry the sea won't cover them at some point. The Lanzarote sun is hot and pebbles dry quickly but that doesn't mean they won't get wet again when you're in the water – we know, our backpacks got well and truly soaked.

The secret beach below Castille de Colorados

If you are thinking of visiting this part of Lanzarote, we recommend that you avoid Playa Blanca and stay in or around Puerto Marina Rubicon instead. The restaurants are better, the vibe is nicer and there are no tacky “ye olde Irish bars”. If eating out (and again that is not an euphemism) head for the blue painted Taverna located in the centre of the marina. Here you'll be served a great selection of tapas. The beef stew we tried was excellent as was the ubiquitous patatas bravas. Wash down all those olive oil soaked titbits with a pint of cold beer or do as the Spanish do and ask for a glass of tinto de verano. Basically red wine, soda and sparkling orange. A sort of poor man's sangria and yet incredibly moorish.

Once you've sated your appetite, head over to Bar One for a few more cold ones or perhaps a few large rums (they have a fairly large selection of rums) and while away the small hours by poking fun at those bubble blowers who paid good money to see lumps of sunken concrete in Jason deCaires Taylor's Atlantic Museum.

Okay it's very pink and empty but don't let that put you off visiting Bar One

If you are able to stay longer than a few days then we recommend that you try to visit the Timanfaya National Park, the Island of La Graciosa in the north, the capital Arrecife, the Laguna de Janubio, the famous Cactus Gardens and of course the César Manrique Foundation (if you don't know who César Manrique is then you really should find out, to help you out with this why not visit this website).

There really is so much to do in Lanzarote that one trip, even a long one, is not enough and we will definitely be heading back soon. As for the idea that this spectacular island, with it's picturesque white-washed buildings and superb snorkelling, is a nasty, grotty little hole. Well, that's as preposterous an idea as Jason deCaires Taylor suggesting that by sinking concrete statues in twenty feet of water he is highlighting the plight of refugees. Err.... right. That said we do have to mention once again that the scenery in Lanzarote is very rugged and very, very, very brown! So brown in fact, it will probably delight corduroy wearing geography teachers everywhere. But then what do you care, you're only here for the snorkelling.

 

Something slimy slides across the rocks