Banning Plastic Bottles To Save The Oceans - One Up For Selfridges.

Some time ago we wrote a post in which we implored people to stop buying bottled water. The full post is here if you’re interested. For the more time conscious among you however here’s the relevant paragraph again: We live in a throw away culture and that needs to change pretty damn sharpish. So having had a bit of a ponder about the issue, we think we’ve hit on an idea that might help and you won’t have to buy a single pair of boardshorts. Besides being careful about how you dispose of things like not pouring paint down the drain or flushing cotton buds down the pan (seriously! Stop that) you can do something very, very simple. You can stop buying bottled water! OK we know that if you’re travelling to the more tropical, disease infested, parts of the world, drinking bottled water is your only option. Even in parts of the Mediterranean the water treatment process leaves a lot to be desired and so again bottled water is a good idea but here in the UK? In France? In Germany? Do you really need to buy gallons of plastic encased H2O?  In the UK for instance, the water that comes from the tap is not only clean and safe it tastes no different than the most expensive bottled stuff you can buy. Think about it, all you need to do is buy a simple reusable flask or bottle, fill it up from the tap and you have clean, hydrating water wherever you go. In one single change, we could clear the supermarket shelves of all those utterly unnecessary plastic containers. We could also end the wretched travesty of waiters in over-priced restaurants trying to sell you water for £20 a bottle because it’s been filtered through volcanic rock. It really is that simple. So wherever you are in the UK, when someone tries to sell you over-priced, over-blown and quite unnecessary bottled water, think of the environment, think of your hard-earned cash, think of how pathetic all that expensive advertising about naturally filtered water is and then in a clear, proud voice retort: “No thanks mate! Make mine tap!

Well hip-bloody-hooray! Selfridges, one of London’s leading department stores has, it appears, followed our advice (or at least come up with the same idea) and announced that it has imposed an outright ban on the sale of disposable plastic bottles. The move is expected to result in a reduction of around 400,000 single-use water bottles being thrown away each year as Selfridges is equipping its restaurants and food halls with water fountains for shoppers to fill up their own reusable containers. Anyone wishing to buy packaged water will be offered glass and bottles and cartons instead as the retailer seeks to minimise its plastics footprint. Heather Koldewey, head of the Zoological Society of London’s global conservation programmes, said: “There is nowhere in the world’s oceans that has been sampled that doesn’t have plastic in it, from the deepest seas to the most remote islands. What’s frightening about that is that [common types of] plastic were only invented in the 1950s and have had a massive global impact in a very short period.”

Unfortunately not everyone is as happy about Selfridges ban as we are. A spokesperson from the Natural Hydration Council said: "bottled water represents approximately 18% of the packaged soft drinks market and has the lowest environmental impact of all soft drinks. The focus should be on encouraging the recycling of plastic bottles, which are 100% recyclable, rather than limiting consumer choice. Given the health benefits of choosing a drink with no calories or sugar; all water, whether tap, still or sparkling should be encouraged".

Right stop laughing. There really is an organisation called the Natural Hydration Council (not even we could be daft enough to come up with that). The Natural Hydration Council states on its website that it is a not for profit organisation dedicated to researching the science and communicating the facts about healthy hydration. They say that they are guided by a Scientific Panel who help them communicate how good hydration habits can positively impact the nation’s health and are supported by its members, who are all producers of naturally sourced bottled water. The Council claims to have a vision “to improve the heath of the British nation by enabling everyone in the UK to recognise water as the healthiest way to hydrate” (no shit Sherlock). The council also has a mission to, wait for it, “be the leading source of engaging evidence based communications on the benefits of healthy hydration for key influencers to champion the role of water” (no really, we haven’t made this gobbledegook up either, they actually say that on their website!). The Council goes on to say that they have a key set of values, which are: shared values of leadership, integrity, credibility, collaboration, educational quality and inspiration and that they will strive to ensure people have the facts on bottled water so they can make informed choices (No we have no idea what that all means either).

So ignoring the bewildering fact that the Natural Hydration Council actually exists, what’s their problem with the ban? After all they state quite clearly that health promotion is the key to their role. Their own vision is about improving health by making us drink more water. Which is great since Selfridges aren’t stopping us drinking water they’re just banning the sale of water in single use plastic containers. They even say that choosing water over other drinks, whether tap, still or sparkling should be encouraged. Which is also great because we think that in the UK and most of Europe, tap water is the best and least expensive choice for your hydrating needs. Perhaps, as they say, they are genuinely concerned about consumer choice. But that’s not a problem either since Selfridges are offering choice, as the retailer says anyone wishing to buy packaged water will be offered glass and bottles and cartons instead and people who have reusable containers can fill them at the stores water fountains – how much choice do you need? Perhaps though the Council is right when it says that bottled water represents approximately 18% of the packaged soft drinks market and has the lowest environmental impact of all soft drinks. The focus should be on encouraging the recycling of plastic bottles, which are 100% recyclable. Recycling is a good thing, but lets be sensible here, isn’t it less damaging to the environment to use longer lasting reusable containers filled with tap water than single use containers that health experts say should not be reused due to risk of possible bacterial contamination? Reusable containers are recyclable too by the way. Besides it costs 0.1 pence for a litre of tap water, where as according to the Natural Hydration Councils own figures, it costs 40p to produce a litre of bottled water and uses on average 160g of carbon dioxide in the process. So all in all the Natural Hydration Council (no really, stop laughing, this is serious), should be happy about Selfridges decision shouldn’t they? Well of course they shouldn’t. 

The Natural Hydration Council are an organisation funded by its members who are all bottled water producers and their role is to tell us how great water is, but more importantly how great bottled water is. They are simply the mouthpiece of the bottled water industry, an industry that sells five million bottles of water in the UK alone with sales increasing by 10 per cent a year. That’s a lot of money and the industry is hardly going to be happy about any move that may have a negative impact on its bottom line. The Natural Hydration Council (alright, it’s still funny) cannot be considered as unbiased in this matter and any organisation that comes up with the sentence “the NHC aims to be the leading source of engaging evidence based communications on the benefits of healthy hydration for key influencers to champion the role of water”, should be mocked mercilessly. 

Plastic detritus is a growing problem in the world’s oceans with around 13m tonnes of the waste estimated to enter the marine environment every year. In Britain alone some 13bn plastic bottles are produced annually with only around half being recycled and Selfridges, by banning single use plastic bottles, have shown real commercial leadership here. We just hope that other department stores, supermarkets and particularly those fancy restaurants can feel the change in the tide and follow suit. The days of plastic bottles of water might just be numbered and their demise, in our opinion, cannot come too soon. So we raise a large, glass container, of beer to Selfridges, well done to you lads, and implore the rest of you out there to get behind the Ocean Clean Up project and Project Ocean. Oh and one last word to all those who work for the Natural Hydration Council: seriously what are you doing? Grow up boys and girls and get a proper job, you're embarrassing yourselves.

Oy! Mr Nudist. Stop Frowning At My Snorkel!

You’ve travelled for miles. Slogging up steep hills, along winding tracks and down slippery, rock-strewn goat paths. Backpack straps dig into your shoulders; rivulets of sweat burst from your forehead and cascade down your face, stinging eyes as they pass. Your feet ache, your legs ache, your very soul seems to ache. Finally though, as you near your destinations end and your eyes catch site of the suns rays dancing on the blue waters you know the suffering has all been worth it. Here on the far-flung corner of a northern shore you have found that desolate beach. Shingle crunches beneath feet as you make your way to the waters edge. Dropping your backpack you take a deep lungful of cool sea air and listen to the evocative sound of wave foaming over shore. No sand, no facilities, no tourists. This is a snorkellers paradise. Within a few minutes you’ve kitted up; mask on, snorkel ready, camera checked and you’re in the water.  Minutes become hours as you scan the rocky seabed, investigate caves, weave through plumes of seagrass and try your hand at being an underwater David Bailey. Finally though, as the cold water begins to numb the limbs, you decide that it’s time to head back to shore for a well-earned laze beneath the sun and it’s then that you spot them. A leg, then another and another still, a forest of human legs seems to have suddenly sprouted along the shoreline. You surface, scan the shore and realise to your horror that an entire tribe of tourists have invaded your personal Eden and even worse - they are all naked!

To compound things, as you come to terms with the unexpected sight of so many wobbly bits on public view, you notice that the owners of those wobbly bits are now frowning with displeasure at your sudden appearance or to be precise at the fact that you are carrying a camera. Nudists it seems are not keen on cameras and even less keen on cameras that can take pictures underwater. In less time than it takes to say, “strewth, there’s a fat bloke over there with no strides on”(best said in an Aussie accent), you’ve gone from an ordinary snorkeller to a perceived pervert. It’s no good smiling or waving either, as this tends to make things worse. It does seem to help if you have a female companion with you mind, but even this is no guarantee of avoiding those annoying disparaging looks and whispered comments. Now while we have no problems with people walking around in the buff, if that’s what takes their fancy, it seems the aforementioned buffers do have problems with non-nudists in wetsuits armed with cameras, and we have no idea why.

It's a snorkeller! Get Him!

Firstly, there are a great many nudist friendly beaches or even nudist only beaches in the Mediterranean but not every deserted, off the beaten track beach, you stumble across should be regarded as the personal domain for those who want to go "Au Naturel". Nudists should realise that such deserted locations tend to be ideal spots for marine life and as such are a big draw for snorkellers and divers. Secondly, snorkellers and divers tend to like photographing and filming said marine life which means they will have cameras that work underwater, but and this is a very important but, nudists should also realise that no snorkeller or diver is remotely interested in taking snapshots of their saggy bottoms or over exposed groins – in or out of the water. Thirdly, it does seem to be a bit odd to want to get naked in public and yet object to the idea that you might be photographed. In the UK for instance it is not actually illegal to be naked in public, but then again if you are in public (where no expectation of privacy exists) you also have no rights to prevent anyone from photographing or filming you and most other European countries have similar laws. Finally it seems to us to be odder still for a nudist to be standing on a beach, butt naked, sun cream dripping from their never region, and yet still imply by that annoyed look and angry murmur that those, who have their groins covered, are nasty voyeuristic perverts. They’re not naked in public - you are - and it was your choice!

So in a spirit of live and let live, here’s a plea to all those isolated-beach-loving-nudists everywhere. If you seek out those deserted coastlines, remember that others will too and not all of them will be interested in getting their tackle out, and if there are no signs saying “Nudists Only”, they have as much right to be there as you do. So get naked if you like, swim naked, snorkel naked, even barbecue naked if that’s your thing but please, please, if you suddenly see our snorkels hovering nearby don’t cast your holier-than-thou protests in our direction because it’s not only annoying it’s downright hypocritical. Snorkelling isn’t illegal, having an underwater camera isn’t illegal either, so give those of us who don’t want to get down with nature by stripping off the same courtesy and understanding that you demand from us. Oh and by the way, here’s one other thing, we were probably there before you anyway.

One last thing, If you do find yourself surrounded by nudists and you have a female member in your snorkelling group, it’s probably best not suggest that she get the "goods out" so as to blend in and dispel any nudisty grumbling.  She may well be hugely shocked by such a suggestion, but not as much as you might be if she happily complies and heads off to see if there are any sausages on the barbecue…particularly if you’re married to her!