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| Oh crap, I forget the tube thing |
You
don't need to be able to swim to go snorkelling!
Many
snorkelling safari companies and tours claim that anyone can go
snorkelling and that being able to swim is a benefit and not a
necessity. Yeah right...! The only way that such a claim could ever
be true is if you plan to snorkel in the bath. The truth is that if
you cannot swim you cannot snorkel. The ocean is potentially a very
dangerous place and heading into its embrace without the most basic
skill of swimming is simply asking for trouble. So don't believe the
snorkelling company idiots that tell you otherwise, they're setting
you up to drown. Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim!
You
don't need to be fit to go snorkelling!
No one
is suggesting that you have to be an Olympic athlete to go
snorkelling. That said though, if you cannot walk up a flight of
stairs without breaking out in a heavy sweat and wheezing like an
asthmatic hippo, then it would be fair to say that snorkelling is not
really for you. Snorkelling - at least the more exciting, energetic
variety rather than the easybreath full-face mask wearing bobbing
about stuff - takes effort. Your breathing will be limited by the
snorkel, you will use muscles that you didn't realise you had and
your body will have to deal with cold water, currents and waves. It's
worth noting that the majority of people who drown while snorkelling
have two things in common, they can't swim very well and they are
unfit. So if you have to pop several pills before meals, need an
inhaler to help you breath and start sweating like a sumo wrestler in
a sauna when reaching for the TV remote control then you'd best
think very carefully about donning the old mask and flippers and
diving into the big blue. Wanna snorkel? Learn to swim and work on
your fitness.
You
only need a cheap mask and some flappy-paddle things for your feet to
go snorkelling!
Snorkelling
is in fact snorkel diving or skin diving and differs from SCUBA
diving in many ways, not least in the fact that you don't need
several burly men to carry all your equipment around but don't think
that all you need to enjoy a snorkelling adventure is a cheap bright
green mask and a pair of rubber swim fins from the nearest tourist
shop. Cheap means cheap it doesn't mean good. In fact cheap means
crap... If you buy crap stuff you'll have a crap experience. This
doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune, just invest wisely. A decent
mask can cost as little as £30, a decent snorkel no more than £20
and a decent pair of fins around £30-40. Chuck in a rash vest and
wetsuit for good measure and you'll probably spend no more than £200.
OK, that can seem a lot but think of it this way. A cheap snorkelling
set will probably set you back £30 and will probably fall apart in a
week. This means that you'll probably have to buy a new set every
year. A decent set of gear will probably last you ten years, perhaps
even a lifetime if you look after them. So in the long run it will
work out cheaper and you will of course have a much better
experience. Wanna snorkel? Learn to swim, work on your fitness and
invest in some decent equipment.
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| Less is sometimes more |
You
don't need anyone else with you to go snorkelling!
Ah
yes, the great “I can do this all by myself” myth. There is of
course nothing to stop you snorkelling alone apart from the fact it
is idiotic. Let's think about this for a second. Do you know any
sport, activity or past time that is more enjoyable to do solo. If
you do, you probably need to get some friends and very probably a
girlfriend! Going snorkelling alone is not only less enjoyable it is
foolhardy. If you get into trouble who's going to help? Who's going
to raise the alarm? In fact who knows where you are and what you are
doing? Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim, work on your fitness,
invest in some decent gear and never, ever snorkel alone.
Snorkelling
can only be done in hot climates and warm seas!
It's
true to say that snorkelling is a lot easier when the sun is shining,
the water is warm and the pristine white sand beach is
littered with beautiful people wearing very little. However, just
because it's cold, the sea is a bit rough and those beautiful people
are a bit blubbery around the middle and you wish they'd put their
bloody clothes back on, doesn’t mean you can't snorkel. After all
it's not the stuff above the surface that should be interesting you
anyway, it's the stuff beneath the water. So ignore all the twaddle
about snorkelling being a tropical island sport and get adventurous.
Iceland, Scotland, Ireland, England, Northern France and a great many
other colder climes offer some superb snorkelling. Of course you are
going to need to wear a bit more than a pair of speedos if you're
planning on diving beneath these waters, but don't let that put you
off, a decent cold water wetsuit isn't that expensive and you could
even invest in a drysuit. Trust us on this, coral reefs and shoals of
brightly coloured fish are great but cold water kelp forests and
rocky shores can be just as interesting so don't always follow the
crowd. Be different and dip you toes, so to speak, in the less
snorkelled locales. Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim, work on your fitness,
invest in some decent gear, never snorkel alone and be adventurous in your choice of destination.
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| Eric and his friends found the local marine life very interesting |
Snorkelling
is just for children and old people!
If you
believe this then your name is probably Brad. You no doubt have a
PADI instructor's certification card in your pocket, wear t-shirts
emblazoned with military logos and bore everyone rigid with your
belief that you would have been a Colonel in the Green Berets by now
if it hadn't been for your congenitally flat-feet and saggy man
breasts. Thinking that snorkelling is some sort of “sissy”
younger brother of diving says more about the thinker than it says
about the thought. It's as ludicrous as thinking that women can't be
diving instructors, men can't be nurses or that the Ama divers just
do it to show off their breasts. Snorkelling can be sedate. It can be
exhilarating. But it never has been and never will be the “sissy”
brother of anything. It is a sport that is accessible, requiring only
a modest investment in equipment and can open up the wonders of the
marine world to young and old alike. But like everything it is not
for everyone. If you can't swim, can't handle breathing through a
tube, are scared of water touching your face or have an unswerving
belief that men should wear camouflage clothing festooned with lots
and lots of badges at all times, then snorkelling really isn't for
you. If however you can swim, are reasonably fit, aren't afraid of
getting your face wet and are not a gold-plated twat called Brad then
don't belief all the myths and dive in. You won't regret it.
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| She's tougher than you Brad and she's supposed to have breasts |
