The Great Snorkelling Myths Debunked

 

Oh crap, I forget the tube thing

You don't need to be able to swim to go snorkelling!

Many snorkelling safari companies and tours claim that anyone can go snorkelling and that being able to swim is a benefit and not a necessity. Yeah right...! The only way that such a claim could ever be true is if you plan to snorkel in the bath. The truth is that if you cannot swim you cannot snorkel. The ocean is potentially a very dangerous place and heading into its embrace without the most basic skill of swimming is simply asking for trouble. So don't believe the snorkelling company idiots that tell you otherwise, they're setting you up to drown. Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim!

You don't need to be fit to go snorkelling!

No one is suggesting that you have to be an Olympic athlete to go snorkelling. That said though, if you cannot walk up a flight of stairs without breaking out in a heavy sweat and wheezing like an asthmatic hippo, then it would be fair to say that snorkelling is not really for you. Snorkelling - at least the more exciting, energetic variety rather than the easybreath full-face mask wearing bobbing about stuff - takes effort. Your breathing will be limited by the snorkel, you will use muscles that you didn't realise you had and your body will have to deal with cold water, currents and waves. It's worth noting that the majority of people who drown while snorkelling have two things in common, they can't swim very well and they are unfit. So if you have to pop several pills before meals, need an inhaler to help you breath and start sweating like a sumo wrestler in a sauna when reaching for the TV remote control then you'd best think very carefully about donning the old mask and flippers and diving into the big blue. Wanna snorkel? Learn to swim and work on your fitness.

You only need a cheap mask and some flappy-paddle things for your feet to go snorkelling!

Snorkelling is in fact snorkel diving or skin diving and differs from SCUBA diving in many ways, not least in the fact that you don't need several burly men to carry all your equipment around but don't think that all you need to enjoy a snorkelling adventure is a cheap bright green mask and a pair of rubber swim fins from the nearest tourist shop. Cheap means cheap it doesn't mean good. In fact cheap means crap... If you buy crap stuff you'll have a crap experience. This doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune, just invest wisely. A decent mask can cost as little as £30, a decent snorkel no more than £20 and a decent pair of fins around £30-40. Chuck in a rash vest and wetsuit for good measure and you'll probably spend no more than £200. OK, that can seem a lot but think of it this way. A cheap snorkelling set will probably set you back £30 and will probably fall apart in a week. This means that you'll probably have to buy a new set every year. A decent set of gear will probably last you ten years, perhaps even a lifetime if you look after them. So in the long run it will work out cheaper and you will of course have a much better experience. Wanna snorkel? Learn to swim, work on your fitness and invest in some decent equipment.

Less is sometimes more

You don't need anyone else with you to go snorkelling!

Ah yes, the great “I can do this all by myself” myth. There is of course nothing to stop you snorkelling alone apart from the fact it is idiotic. Let's think about this for a second. Do you know any sport, activity or past time that is more enjoyable to do solo. If you do, you probably need to get some friends and very probably a girlfriend! Going snorkelling alone is not only less enjoyable it is foolhardy. If you get into trouble who's going to help? Who's going to raise the alarm? In fact who knows where you are and what you are doing? Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim, work on your fitness, invest in some decent gear and never, ever snorkel alone.

Snorkelling can only be done in hot climates and warm seas!

It's true to say that snorkelling is a lot easier when the sun is shining, the water is warm and the pristine white sand beach is littered with beautiful people wearing very little. However, just because it's cold, the sea is a bit rough and those beautiful people are a bit blubbery around the middle and you wish they'd put their bloody clothes back on, doesn’t mean you can't snorkel. After all it's not the stuff above the surface that should be interesting you anyway, it's the stuff beneath the water. So ignore all the twaddle about snorkelling being a tropical island sport and get adventurous. Iceland, Scotland, Ireland, England, Northern France and a great many other colder climes offer some superb snorkelling. Of course you are going to need to wear a bit more than a pair of speedos if you're planning on diving beneath these waters, but don't let that put you off, a decent cold water wetsuit isn't that expensive and you could even invest in a drysuit. Trust us on this, coral reefs and shoals of brightly coloured fish are great but cold water kelp forests and rocky shores can be just as interesting so don't always follow the crowd. Be different and dip you toes, so to speak, in the less snorkelled locales. Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim, work on your fitness, invest in some decent gear, never snorkel alone and be adventurous in your choice of destination.
 

Eric and his friends found the local marine life very interesting

Snorkelling is just for children and old people!

If you believe this then your name is probably Brad. You no doubt have a PADI instructor's certification card in your pocket, wear t-shirts emblazoned with military logos and bore everyone rigid with your belief that you would have been a Colonel in the Green Berets by now if it hadn't been for your congenitally flat-feet and saggy man breasts. Thinking that snorkelling is some sort of “sissy” younger brother of diving says more about the thinker than it says about the thought. It's as ludicrous as thinking that women can't be diving instructors, men can't be nurses or that the Ama divers just do it to show off their breasts. Snorkelling can be sedate. It can be exhilarating. But it never has been and never will be the “sissy” brother of anything. It is a sport that is accessible, requiring only a modest investment in equipment and can open up the wonders of the marine world to young and old alike. But like everything it is not for everyone. If you can't swim, can't handle breathing through a tube, are scared of water touching your face or have an unswerving belief that men should wear camouflage clothing festooned with lots and lots of badges at all times, then snorkelling really isn't for you. If however you can swim, are reasonably fit, aren't afraid of getting your face wet and are not a gold-plated twat called Brad then don't belief all the myths and dive in. You won't regret it. 

She's tougher than you Brad and she's supposed to have breasts

 

So What Happened With That Then?

Have you ever been sat down the pub with your mates and started wondering what happened to Bob or Ben or Dave? You know, that bloke who used to be part of the group but no one sees much of him now. Did he ever make it in the world of IT or did he go back to being a Landscape Gardener in Hull? Did he ever get to trek across the Andes or Andorra or wherever it was he was going to trek across? God he went on and on about that didn't he? And of course did the antibiotics ever clear up that embarrassing little itch he had? You know, the thing that made Debbie leave him.... Or was she called Diane?

Anyway today we are going to do a blog version of wondering about whatever happened to Bob and have a look back on some or our posts from the last year or so and ask, did anything ever come of that?

Bethany Farrell

We start on a very serious and very disturbing note. Back in 2015 we wrote a piece about diving safety called Who's Really Looking After You. You can read the original piece here. In that post we discussed three separate incidents where people had died whilst diving. All of the incidents were depressingly sad and should never have happened but one of them stands out for one very good reason. Bethany Farrell had never dived before, ever! She was travelling in Australia and was undertaking an “Introductory Dive” with Wings Diving Adventures. This was supposed to be a chance for her and others like her to experience what SCUBA diving was all about in a safe and controlled way. Bethany didn't get to experience the wonders of SCUBA diving though. Somehow she became separated from the instructor and despite the fact that there were many other divers in the area and observers on boats, Bethany vanished. She was later found on the sea bed and died from drowning. At the time a number of people took to the TripAdvisor website to criticise the way Wings Diving Adventures staff acted during and after the incident. Now, over a year later a UK coroners inquest into that tragedy has recorded a narrative verdict that highlights significant failings in the way the company conducted itself and legal proceedings by the Australian authorities are ongoing. 

Interestingly the instructor at the centre of the incident, Fiona McTavish, has been expelled by PADI however the company itself hasn't. Which begs the question was Fiona McTavish thrown to the wolves as PADI has done before (check this link out if you doubt us) or can we expect that PADI will soon be expelling the company as well? The last few years have not been good for the reputation of the recreational diving industry with deaths, accidents, divers being left in the ocean, sea life being harassed etc and things don't look like they are going to get better anytime soon. PADI for example, has launched its own freediving courses, where people who know nothing about freediving are taught to hold their breath for many, many minutes by people who didn't know anything about freediving themselves a few months ago. Then there is PADI's “Zero to Hero” program, which, apparently, is an accelerated training program which turns complete novices into diving instructors in a matter of months. Oh dear, you really can hear the papers being shuffled in coroners courts everywhere can't you? Is it just us, but does no one in the diving certification business learn lessons at all? 

Now as we said there are still legal proceedings against Wings Diving Adventures (who are still claiming to keep you safe and smiling on their website) underway in Australia so this sad saga still hasn't been concluded and it is worth noting that a coroners court cannot attribute blame to any individual and cannot imply a criminal or civil liability. The Coroner must use the evidence heard to decide who the deceased person was, where they died, when they died, and what the cause of their death was. By expelling Fiona Mctavish from their organisation however, PADI does seem to have made it clear where they think blame lies, but in the end when the legal channels have finally been exhausted, we don't think PADI or the company itself will come out of this looking very good either. In general, Bethany Farrell's death should be more than a wake up call. It should be a bloody great Klaxon sounding in the offices of every diving certification company headquarters everywhere. Every PADI member, every diving centre and company staff member should remember her name. Bethany Farrell was on an “introductory dive” for gods sake. Her death should never have happened and we hope and pray that for once the “lessons learned” will be heeded because this must never happen again.

Riz Smith and those short things

On a lighter note, does anyone remember Riz Smith? Oh come on, Riz Smith (cool name, cool dude), he's the guy who was going to save the oceans by making boardshorts out of plastic. Well, we are pleased to announce that despite our serious doubts (read them here and here) Riz really does seem to have cracked it. At least we think he has, it's difficult to tell. We know Riz is making baordshorts out of plastic but we can't tell if it's the nice clean sort of plastic you get from the bottled water trade or that nasty, dirty plastic you get from the bottled water trade when those bottles have been plucked from the ocean. Confused? Yeah, so are we. Anyway here's what Ali Murrell, who is one of the co-founders of Riz Smith's boardshorty enterprise says:

Our current fabric has been carefully sourced to give us exactly what we need; great feel; quick drying and, importantly, made from 100% recycled polyester, rPET as it is known. rPET is essentially a re-composition of the same plastic (PET) that you find in most clear drinking bottles. Every day, tonnes of bottles are recycled and shipped to Taiwan where our factory then creates the rPET yarn and finally our fabric specification. Whilst it is great that you can recycle bottles into fabric there are still very high percentages of bottles that never make it into recycling programmes, either finding their way to landfill or entering the litter stream, into waterways and ultimately the seas, oceans and beaches. Our aim is to divert and collect these bottles to create our fabric in a fully traceable and circular process and ideally do this closer to home.

Err... Okay Ali, but are you making shorts out of plastic plucked from the sea?

We have always supported the Marine Conservation Society and known for a while that plastic bottles are finding their way to the sea and landing on our beaches in ever increasing numbers, but it dawned on me when I realised that the actual cause of the problem was literally sitting on our doorsteps. Seeing all the plastic litter in and around my neighbourhood in London, knowing where this is likely to end up, made me think that there must be something positive that can be done to reduce and ultimately prevent this situation from getting any worse.

Yes that's great Ali, but are you making shorts out of plastic plucked from the sea?

Initially I thought that it would be the condition of the bottles. It turns out though that this is the least of our issues!  Unfortunately the sea and the tides are fickle things and it is very hard to predict where or when a given beach will be heavily littered or not. We know that the bottles are out there based on the great work of organisations such as the Marine Conservation Society and their litter surveys, but being in the right place at the right time is a real challenge. We have relied on the amazing scores of volunteer groups around the country to help get the project off the ground and they have been so supportive; this does leave us with the challenge of co-ordinating all their efforts into one seamless process. Ultimately we want to design a system that can work on a commercial scale!

Oh for gods sake Ali, please just tell us if you're actually making boardshorts out of plastic plucked from the ocean or is this just a gimmick?

To be fair we have jumbled up Ali's answers and taken them out of context for a bit of fun. However, if anyone can read Ali's Q and A on his websites journal and figure out if Ali, Riz and the other cool surfer dudes are actually making boardshorts out of ocean plastic, can you let us know because we haven't a clue if he is or not....

Sharkwater the sequel

Finally, did anyone read our piece on Sharkwater Extinction?

Sharkwater Extinction is a new project by filmmaker Rob Stewart and is described as “a quest to find 80 million missing sharks, revealing a multi billion-dollar scandal that implicates us all in the greatest wildlife massacre ever known.”

Rob Stewart was funding the project through Kickstarter and we are pleased to say he not only reached his target of $150,000 but surpassed it. You can still support the film by donating via Rob's Kickstarter page. We went for the $175 “thank you” in the credits and we look forward to seeing our clubs name in the film credits next year.

Now then, does anyone remember Bob? Bald bloke, buck teeth! Oh come on, you must remember Bob? He had that embarrassing thing on his wossiname......

What The Heck is That? Or How Do I Find Out What That Strange Fish Is Called?

 

Okay, So I Don't Know The Name Of The Fish. But! Don't Call Me Stupid

It's a common problem. There you are happily playing about in the water with your new all-singing, all-dancing underwater camera when you catch sight of an exotic marine dweller. You snap away madly and are pleasantly surprised to find that one of the twenty images you’ve taken is actually in focus and captures that exotic specimen in all its glory. Now, you want to show this brilliant picture to other people, you want to explain how, in order to get that perfect shot you had to learn all about apertures, lenses, white balance, strobes, up-lighting, down-lighting, ISO, filters and well, just about everything. But no matter how expert in the field of underwater snapology you sound, you know that someone is going to ask you those killer questions. What is it that you've actually photographed? What's it called?

Clearly, if you've bored everyone to death about the finer points of underwater photography but have no idea what the yellow fish in the photograph is actually called, you're going to look a complete spoon! Worse still, concerned about your lack of knowledge in marine life identification, someone might begin to challenge your photography knowledge as well. Which of course means that you going to have to admit that your new camera does everything for you at the click of a button and your only real role in capturing that brilliant image was to make sure that the lens cap was off and the camera was pointing in the right direction.

In normal circumstances this is a disastrous situation but in the pub with your mates, where such expertise is normally spouted, this can easily become social Armageddon. Before you know it you've gone from the David Bailey of the underwater world to Nobby-no-mates faster than you can say “mine's a pint”. So how do you avoid this horny dilemma. Well, years ago, if you wanted to know the name of every fish in the sea and be capable of telling the difference between a Gastropod and a Cephalopod, you had to become a marine biologist. This meant spending an awful lot of time sitting in stuffy lecture halls and worse still, having to talk to sociology students in the University bar. Neither activity can be called interesting and of course it took three years and who has the time for that? After all, you've got 500 friends, you've never actually met, on facebook and they need to be kept up to date with what you had for breakfast this morning. Fortunately we now live in a wonderful cyber-age where if you don't know anything about anything you can still appear to be the font of all knowledge by simply pulling whatever Internet enabled device you have from your pocket, holding it high in the air and shouting, “I'll google it”.

Obviously, if you do this, you'll find there are a whole host of resources available to you via the Internet but how useful are they? Firstly the most comprehensive and authoritative site on the web is the World Register of Marine Species or WoRMS for short. The aim of WoRMS is to provide an authoritative list of names for all marine species globally and is primarily aimed at experts (real ones, not those you meet down the pub) who want to identify and catalogue every marine creature that exists or existed for that matter. To use this site you really do need to have a solid foundation in the field and you'll also need to have a masters degree in Latin just to know how to use the search feature. Not that useful then for those of us who want to know what that yellow fish is in our photograph. 

If you live in the UK there is the British Marine life site run by photographer Jason Gregory. This site has some excellent image files and a search feature is available, however the use of Latin in the description without the common and garden names means that although interesting, this site is not going to be of much use to you. Saying that it's a picture of Piscus Yellocus Finnius to your mates is always going to illicit the response “yeah but what does that mean”? Answering “yellow fish” is not going to improve things either. Fortunately other individuals have decided that they don't know Latin either and have created sites that use common names. There is Jason Flower's (why are they all called Jason?) Mediterranean marine life ID. This site is, as the name suggests, specific to the Mediterranean and has a limited number of pictures but does provide a reasonable starting point for those looking for the name of that critter they snapped off the coast of the Greek Islands etc. Another area specific site is the excellent Snorkel St John which covers the Virgin Islands but obviously is a good resource for the whole Caribbean. The site uses common names and currently has 5000 photographs broken down into easy to navigate galleries. For Hawaii and the pacific region there is the Marine Life Photography site run by Keoki and Yuko Stender. Although the site does concentrate on the species indigenous to the pacific it also has a number of galleries that feature species from other areas. The Galleries are easy to navigate and both Latin and common names are used. This is a superb site and has a huge number of images of fish, coral and other marine life and is well worth a look.

Of course not all of us have the time to leave our facebook page and go searching through all those location specific sites. So are there any comprehensive sites that cover the world? Well, thankfully there are. First there is the What's That Fish site. This is a huge site that allows you to search by colour, species or region. Galleries can also be searched alphabetically although this isn't very helpful if you don't know the bloody critters name in the first place. This is a community based site where anyone can join and upload their photographs to get the information they need. The galleries are fairly comprehensive and the site provides some interesting background information on individual species. There are a few issues though. The site is a little cumbersome and navigation is quite poor which makes it rather irritating to use. There also seem to be a lot of poor quality images on the site which doesn't make identification easy.

Fortunately though, there is another site. ReefID is the brainchild of the guys at the Underwater Photography Guide online magazine and they have hit upon the idea of making the process of searching the images as easy as possible. Which is nice. You start by searching the region, then by whether the critter you want to find is either a fish, an invertebrate or a mammal. Then you are presented with sub menus in each category. In the fish category for instance, you continue your search based on whether the fish is flat, slender or standard bodied etc. Results can then be filtered by colour, size, markings or all three. This is also a community based site that relies on members to upload their own pictures and as it has only been up and running for a year it is hardly comprehensive. However the simple navigation and the ability to filter by specifics means that as more and more pictures are added this will almost certainly become one of the best ID sites on the web. If you haven't joined ReefID we recommend you do and get uploading.

Of course there are other ways of identifying those exotic creatures you might come across beneath the waves. You could buy a book for instance and do some background reading before you actually visit the snorkelling or dive location. That way you'll know exactly what you've seen when you see it. This is also a good way of knowing what can be harmful to you before you find yourself screaming in pain and trying to access the web from a deserted beach in order find out what to do when an orange slimy thing stings you. Preparation, preparation, preparation really is the key here. Another way is to go and buy some simple Hinchcliffe marine identification slates which you can carry with you. These are region/ocean specific cards that show between 40-50 of the most common species in the location and are relatively inexpensive. Most good dive and snorkelling stores always have a good selection of these or you can get them online.

So there you have it. Now you'll never have to worry about not knowing the name of that fish, you saw and photographed, ever again. And, your mates will once more think of you as the local Jacques Cousteau and start buying you beers again....

You're welcome.

The Road To Papagayo: A Quick Guide To Southern Lanzarote

 

Lanzarote shows off its distinct browness

It's Lanzagrotty! Hordes of uncouth, sunburnt tourists, herd from beach to tacky bar and back again. Second rate cocktail lounges vie for tourist dollars with Karaoke bars, bad restaurants and fast food outlets. Seedy hotels with their cockroach ridden rooms and algae infested swimming pools litter the seafront. During the day the resorts swelter under a miasma of heat and rotten seaweed whilst at night the air is tinged with the stench of sweat, cheap perfume and vomit. Ah yes, if you're a hormonal teenager with galloping acne who's out to get drunk fast, copulate with whatever member of the opposite sex hasn't started vomiting yet and then sleep off the excesses of the night on the beach then Lanzarote is the place for you. Except of course it's not. The idea of Lanzarote being a grotty little island full to bursting with the sort of people you'd move house to avoid being near is as far from the truth as a conspiracy theorist's rants about the moon landings.

Yes there are still some tacky areas, mainly in Playa Blanca, but on the whole Lanzarote has picked itself up from the sawdust strewn floor of mass tourism, dusted itself down, shuck two fingers in the air to teenage hormones and sauntered off toward the promised land of five star hotels, swanky marinas and fashion boutiques. Yep, Lanzarote has gone upmarket. 

So if it's not sun, sea, sex and dysentery infused burgers anymore, what can a visitor to the Island now expect? We stayed in the South and due to the short duration of our trip we were unable to venture any further so we will be concentrating on this part of the Island. Beside its year long sunshine and distinct lack of rainfall Lanzarote has one other all encompassing feature, it's brown. Really, really brown. In fact, if you got a minute, it's a dreary, dusty, sewage like brown that brings to mind what a post apocalyptic world might look like. In short it is bloody ugly. Which of course was one of the other reasons the island was called grotty in the first place. Still, even the most ugly of places have redeeming features and if you're the type of person who finds post apocalyptic landscapes somewhat attractive then these redeeming features of castles, museums, craft shops and wild west themed parks will be a bonus. If you're not the sort of person that finds barren, windswept vistas, remotely attractive and think castles, museums and Spanish men dressing up like cowboys a little dull then there is always the beaches. Lanzarote has one hundred of them and most are of the golden sand variety. 

 

Sunset in Puerto Marina Rubicon

The main resort in the South is Playa Blanca. A hot-potch of bars, shops and hotels that still hanker back to the Islands less salubrious past although things are definitely improving. Not far along the coast is the more upmarket Puerto Marina Rubicon. This is a glitzy little region that has fashion boutiques, high-class restaurants that overlook the expensive yachts in the marina and the rather nice Bar One, a sort of yacht owners come SCUBA divers drinking establishment situated right at the end of the Marina. Puerto Marina Rubicon plays hosts to Jason deCaires Taylor's Atlantic Museum workshop and the underwater museum itself is but a short boat trip away. The marina is also home to a large dive centre, located next to Bar One, which caters rather nicely for the needs of the average bubble blower. Then there are all the other sporty outlets and clubs that cater for sea anglers, kayakers, sailing enthusiasts and hikers. But since we are none of them let's get to the point, what is the snorkelling like?

Castille de Colarados where the walk to Papagayo starts

In the south of the island there are two places to dip your head beneath the waters. The first is the marine reserve around Papagayo Beach. Papagayo is situated in a national park and can be reached by foot or car. The drive is less than twenty minutes from the centre of Puerto Marina Rubicon but be aware that as you reach the outskirts of the national park the smooth road gives way to the sort of rock strewn dirt track that brings a smile to face of dodgy car hire salesmen everywhere. So make sure your car hire insurance covers tyres, windscreen and underside of the vehicle or you'll be facing a very unexpected and very expensive bill when you hand the car back. If you fancy walking to Papagayo, follow the promenade path that starts at Castille de Colorados. The path circumnavigates the Sandos Beach resort hotel to avoid a steep climb at the end of the beach (check out this site for specific directions) and depending on your fitness levels can take anything from 30 minutes to one and a half hours.

Papagayo Beach

Papagayo is the fourth beach along the coast and nestles between two headlands. Just before you reach Papagayo there is a small pebble beach located beneath the cafe on the hill. This tiny beach is a little difficult to reach - requiring some basic climbing - but if you do endeavour to reach it, you'll find the perfect, isolated location to launch your snorkelling adventure from. Further back along the coast path, before you reach the cafe, you'll find another small cove. This cove is much easier to reach and has pristine sand but be aware, due to its ease of access yet sense of isolation from the main beaches, this small sandy cove does attract the au naturel crowd. And let's be honest, there is nothing more disturbing for people who like to get their dangly bits out than a snorkeller popping up unexpectedly, and there is nothing more disturbing for a snorkeller than suddenly finding dangly bits, swinging to-and-fro in front of your mask. 

The pebble beach below the cafe

The marine life at Papagayo is large and varied and if you know where to look you can come across some interesting specimens. As a rule it is best to arrive early as marine life tends to disappear as the water warms and the hordes of tourists start frolicking and splashing about in the water. Also try to avoid the habit of less seasoned snorkellers and hang around looking at sandy bottoms (and no that's not an euphemism) and instead head into the rocks where the sea life is more abundant. If you do this, then along with the usual suspects such as mullet, bream, wrasse and damselfish, you'll also encounter lizard fish and blennies lurking among the rocky crags. Bright orange cardinal fish can be found sheltering beneath overhangs and starfish, wide-eyed flounders, urchins and sponges litter the sea floor. Head further from shore and you'll find squadrons of needlefish menacing silver bogue that cluster together in giant swirling balls for protection. If you're very lucky you might even catch a glimpse of a barracuda, stingray or turtle. 

 

Shoaling Bogue

A predatory needlefish

A Rough Tail Stingray sweeps along the sand

The second place is really for the more adventurous and consists of a secretive little pebble beach opposite the Castille de Colorados in Puerto Marina Rubicon itself. The beach is a short walk from the Atlantic Museum workshop and is reached by a tricky path that is not recommended for the less nimble. Once at the bottom you'll find a perfect rocky shoreline that is filled to the brim with marine life. A word of warning though, if you are leaving anything on the beach, make sure you leave it as far back against the cliff face as possible, as the tide here comes in far and fast. And don't think that just because the pebbles are dry the sea won't cover them at some point. The Lanzarote sun is hot and pebbles dry quickly but that doesn't mean they won't get wet again when you're in the water – we know, our backpacks got well and truly soaked.

The secret beach below Castille de Colorados

If you are thinking of visiting this part of Lanzarote, we recommend that you avoid Playa Blanca and stay in or around Puerto Marina Rubicon instead. The restaurants are better, the vibe is nicer and there are no tacky “ye olde Irish bars”. If eating out (and again that is not an euphemism) head for the blue painted Taverna located in the centre of the marina. Here you'll be served a great selection of tapas. The beef stew we tried was excellent as was the ubiquitous patatas bravas. Wash down all those olive oil soaked titbits with a pint of cold beer or do as the Spanish do and ask for a glass of tinto de verano. Basically red wine, soda and sparkling orange. A sort of poor man's sangria and yet incredibly moorish.

Once you've sated your appetite, head over to Bar One for a few more cold ones or perhaps a few large rums (they have a fairly large selection of rums) and while away the small hours by poking fun at those bubble blowers who paid good money to see lumps of sunken concrete in Jason deCaires Taylor's Atlantic Museum.

Okay it's very pink and empty but don't let that put you off visiting Bar One

If you are able to stay longer than a few days then we recommend that you try to visit the Timanfaya National Park, the Island of La Graciosa in the north, the capital Arrecife, the Laguna de Janubio, the famous Cactus Gardens and of course the César Manrique Foundation (if you don't know who César Manrique is then you really should find out, to help you out with this why not visit this website).

There really is so much to do in Lanzarote that one trip, even a long one, is not enough and we will definitely be heading back soon. As for the idea that this spectacular island, with it's picturesque white-washed buildings and superb snorkelling, is a nasty, grotty little hole. Well, that's as preposterous an idea as Jason deCaires Taylor suggesting that by sinking concrete statues in twenty feet of water he is highlighting the plight of refugees. Err.... right. That said we do have to mention once again that the scenery in Lanzarote is very rugged and very, very, very brown! So brown in fact, it will probably delight corduroy wearing geography teachers everywhere. But then what do you care, you're only here for the snorkelling.

 

Something slimy slides across the rocks

Olympus TG-4 Camera – Designed For Untidy, Accident Prone Nudists Who Live In A Freezer, But Great For Snorkellers Too

The first camera that we took underwater was an Intova IC-14, which was marketed as a simple point and shoot camera for snorkelling. The IC-14 wasn't waterproof and utilised an underwater housing. This wasn't a problem as the housing was small and lightweight. What was a problem however, was that The IC-14 was quite simply awful, in almost every way. The next camera that took our fancy was a Canon G16. which although a brilliant camera, needed a very heavy and cumbersome housing. The G16 also suffered from shaky results when shooting video. So we were looking for a reasonably priced camera that was simple to use, preferably didn't need a housing and could cope with getting banged about underwater. We could have bought a Nikon Coolpix but anything that has “cool” in its title is always, always, uncool. Also the Coolpix only seems to be sold in the UK in a horrendous camouflage colour, which makes it even more uncool Our attention was therefore drawn to the Olympus TG-4. 

 

Not that the TG-4 doesn't have its own advertising issues. The blurb on the Olympus website claims that the TG-4 is designed for rough-nature explorers. We'll let you think about that for minute.... If that description conjures up in your mind an image of extreme skiers hurtling down mountains, a vapour trail of powdery snow trailing in their wake or surfer dudes weaving beneath a curling wave while scantily clad surf-bunnies wave adoringly from the shore, then the Olympus advertising team have earned their money. If however you think like us, then you are probably imaging a pot-bellied German nudist rolling around in stinging nettles yelling “Ja, Ja, Ja”. Seriously. Rough-nature explorers! What were they thinking? Anyway, bad advertising aside, let's get to the camera.

 

Lizard Fish Shot With The TG-4

The TG-4 is the latest in the Tough range and to be honest it hasn't changed much from the original TG-1 version which was released in 2012. There are however some new improvements. The TG-4 can now go deeper, it's waterproof to 15 metres without needing a housing and has dedicated underwater modes. It also now supports RAW and has a higher resolution 16 megapixel sensor. The TG-4 also boasts a rather neat microscope mode (macro) which allows you to focus on subjects 1cm away. Like its predecessors the TG-4 is freeze proof to -10 degrees, drop proof up to 2.5 metres, crush proof up to 100 kg and dust proof. Which is nice to know if you live in a dusty freezer and consequently your frost bitten fingers are prone to dropping things. If you're the type who gets all hot and bothered over specifications, then we recommend you google one of the many photographic websites or go to the Olympus website, where you'll find all the specifications you need to get your knees and other things trembling. We however, are now going to concentrate on whether the camera is any good for snorkelling. 

 

Coral Shot With TG-4 In Microscope Mode

There are of course two types of snorkelling. There is the face down, Easybreath full-face mask wearing, bobbing about on the surface type and then there is the breath-hold, dive-down, bottom-skimming, rock-weaving type and if you do either, the TG-4 will meet your needs. The TG-4 is all about speed, it locks focus in less than 0.1 seconds and starts, focuses and fires in less than a second and can shoot full resolution J-PEG images at 5 frames per second. So if you're floating like a drowned rat on the surface, you should still be able to capture images of all those other snorkellers having a much better time below you, as well as the odd fish that flashes past your face. The speedy operation will also allow dive-down snorkellers to capture the far more interesting marine life that dwells on the seabed and amongst the rocks.

The microscope mode is also great for getting those close up shots of coral polyps, starfish and all the other things that lurk in the nooks and crannies that surface snorkellers probably don't even know exist - if you can get your buoyancy right of course. The TG-4 also lives up to its “tough” moniker. Ours got battered against rocks, was dropped down some steps (not deliberately mind) and easily coped with depths of 10 – 15 metres for up to two minutes at a time without any issue. The TG-4 can capture video up to 1080p quality and gives pretty sharp results, although we'd recommend that you fit it to a stabilising grip handle to prevent jittery results, particularly if snorkelling in anything other than dead calm conditions. If you want to go deeper or are looking for a camera that can be customised then the TG-4 can be fitted with an underwater housing for depths up to 50 metres and Olympus manufacturers various interesting accessories than can be added. 

 

Anemone Shot With TG-4 In Microscope Mode

There are of course some downsides. The buttons, like all Olympus cameras, seemed to be designed for people with very thin fingers and can be a bit fiddly when wearing gloves. Some may also consider the lack of a stand alone charger an issue, the company only supply a USB cable, but we didn't find this an issue. We did find though, that the TG-4 does suffer from condensation forming inside the lens when switching from sea to beach. The condensation does clear but it can take some time and can be irritating if you want to quickly switch from sea to land shots. There are, of course, better cameras on the markets but these are also much more expensive and much more bulkier. If you're a professional photographer then you'll probably shrug your shoulders at this rugged little offering from Olympus and move on. If you're one of those fanatical photography hobbyists, with a photoshop course under your belt, then you'll probably take delight in pointing out all the flaws with the TG-4 and would no doubt bore everyone in ear shot with pontifications on ISO, compression, zoom characteristics, noise and muddying of edges et al. If you however, are the type of person that believes a photograph is less about technical settings and more about the story it tells, the adventure that lays behind the image, the memory of the moment that it evokes then you'll probably not be bothered about all the technical downsides the TG-4 has. Besides your hobby is not photography is it? Whether you're a SCUBA diver, freediver or snorkeller, you have enough to think about when you're in the water than which ISO you should have selected. Photography is just a way for you to freeze that adventurous moment in time, to record a reasonable image of that strange creature you, and no one else saw, and occasionally to allow you to pull out your laptop in the pub and bore your mates senseless about the trials and tribulations you underwent to get that interesting snap of the barracuda that just attacked your fins.... To do that you don't want, or need, to be dragging around a camera the size of a small child, along with the accompanying six hundred page user manual. No. What you'll need is a smart, quick, point and shoot camera that doesn't mind getting knocked around. In short you'll need a TG-4. A stylish, tough,easy to operate camera that you can use anywhere – even if you live in a freezer and like whipping yourself with stinging nettles. 

 

Dive Down

As we write this, Olympus have a new camera on the market called the Tracker. Intova have released the new Edge-X 2 and there are new offerings from Nikon and Sealife. Which means of course that the TG-4 has probably already become old hat sigh... However this will probably mean that the TG-4 will drop below the current price of £280, which is another reason to go buy one.... We did.

Please Show Your Tickets Before Entering The Ocean And Don't Forget To Visit The Gift Shop On Your Way Out

Not that long ago we wrote a little piece about the new underwater museum being constructed in Playa Blanca, Lanzarote. The Atlantic Museum is the work of British Artist, Jason deCaires Taylor. Jason is a former theatre set designer, sometime Paparazzi photographer and scuba diver, who hit on the idea of sinking statues in the ocean for other bubble blowers to look at. Now we had some problems with the whole idea and you can read about them in the original post here.

To summarise, we disagree with the idea of dumping statues into the sea. In fact we disagree with the whole notion of creating man-made diving sites by deliberately sinking ships, dumping cars or giant concrete blocks into the ocean altogether. Yes, we understand the argument around eco-tourism, marine conservation and creating sites to draw bubble blowers away from fragile reefs etc. But understanding the argument is one thing, agreeing with the solution that Jason deCaires Taylor and others have come up with is quite another.

For one thing, as we stated in the original post, the creation of these arty installations come at a cost and that cost must be recouped. This means there has to be a charge for anyone wishing to view them. Then of course, once the costs have been recouped, someone, possibly Jason, will want to make a profit. This means the charge will be indefinite and will probably rise year on year. But how do you charge someone for going in the ocean? The installation at Playa Blanca, is not that far from the shore and it would be quite easy for divers, freedivers and snorkellers to reach the location by swimming from the beach. The answer they have come up with at Lanzarote is to create an exclusion zone around the installation. An exclusion zone patrolled by a dedicated security boat. And before anyone comes up with the ludicrous idea that the boat is there to stop the statues being stolen... We'd like to point out that Jason's workshop on the island has an easily accessible yard where the statues are created and stored prior to being sunk into the sea. This yard has no security! So if they were worried about the statues being stolen, this would be the place that you'd think security would be needed. No. The security is there to stop people who haven't paid getting into the site. The ocean ladies and gentleman has effectively been privatised for profit. And as we pointed out before, it won't be long before someone, somewhere gets the idea that if they can charge for viewing one section of the ocean they might be able to charge for all of it. Want to dive from the beach? That'll be 10 Euros please. Going for a snorkel? That'll be 7 Euros. Just fancy a paddle in the sea? Sorry but there is a beach usage charge I am afraid – 5 Euros. And you won't be able to complain either as the charge will be wrapped up nicely with eco-tourism paper and tied with a nice conservation bow – various colours are available. And who can argue with that? Conservation costs you know?

The museum exclusion zone and security boat

Then there is the preposterous assertion that the statues might in some way highlight the plight of refugees, dolphins or society's attitude to global warming. Such assertions go beyond being pretentious and are quite simply absurd arty nonsense. No tourist, diver, snorkeller or even Easybreath Mask wearer is so dumb that they cannot understand the news and can only gain understanding by viewing grey concrete representations of the issues facing the world that have been sunk in the oceans... Alright, maybe Easybreath Mask wearers might be that dumb but the rest of us aren't.

The fact is that such installations are deeply distressing. If you are the type of diver, snorkeller or general tourist who thinks that glaring at concrete sculptures in twelve metres of bluish water is a wonderful experience that satisfies your combined need for conservation, artistic culture and current affairs then the Underwater Museum of Jason deCaires Taylor will be right up your alley. And you won't mind paying for the privilege either because as the saying goes, a fool and his money is easily parted. If on the other hand, you would rather spend your precious underwater time observing the brilliant, amazingly diverse, natural wonders of the ocean (and are capable of understanding news and TV reports about global issues without the assistance of a mime artist, painter or even sculptor giving you a representation) then we suggest that you give these underwater eyesores a miss. Just remember though, that it won't be too long before the money men start casting their gaze towards you. The idea of the ocean being a free and wondrous environment for all may just have had its day and how depressing is that?

One last thing. According to the International Council of Museums, a museum is defined as: A non-profit, permanent institution in the service of society and its development, open to the public, which acquires, conserves, researches, communicates and exhibits the tangible and intangible heritage of humanity and its environment for the purposes of education, study and enjoyment.

We don't think that Jason deCaires Taylor's Atlantic Museum in Playa Blanca, meets that definition. So probably shouldn't call itself a museum then. A better title would be underwater art exhibition. 

The bodies pile up in Jason's very accessible yard

 

Want To Save The Oceans? Then Go And Buy A Bikini

Not that long ago Fourth Element launched their Ocean Positive range of swimwear. The idea behind the range was to give people a purchasing choice. You can either buy a bikini or a pair of budgie smugglers that has a direct impact on ocean welfare or you could buy something else and live with the guilt. What impact can buying a bloody bikini have on ocean welfare you might well ask. Well for a start the Ocean Positive range are made from recycled fishing nets. These “ghost nets” are abandoned by fisherman after snagging on reefs and wrecks and pose a significant threat to marine life. In short they continue to fish even though abandoned, trapping a staggering variety of marine life and resulting in the loss of thousands upon thousand of creatures each year. They also destroy coral as currents drag them across reefs, literally scrubbing the reef clean. But thanks to a recycling process created by the Italian company Aquafil and the Ghost Fishing Project which enlists teams of divers to recover the nets in the first place, this scourge of the ocean suddenly becomes a high quality nylon yarn capable of being turned into a bikini. 

Anyone who has read about ghost nets and their sickening impact on the marine environment would be hard pressed to argue that their removal is a bad thing. And, if you watch the video messages from such people as Amanda Cotton, Dave Schott and others which are on the Ocean Positive website, you would have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by the images of fish, sharks, seals and turtles that have died after being trapped in the nets. So the concept of Ocean Positive is a noble one and unlike some other noble concepts that often turn out to be nothing more than hot air, the team at Fourth Element have turned the concept into a tangible product that you can buy.

The oceans are cleared of ghost nets by heroic divers around the world so saving marine life. The Italians recycle the nets into nylon yarn which apparently means that twelve thousand tons of waste has been eliminated, seventy thousand barrels of oil have not had to be used, forty-two thousand tons of CO2 hasn’t been released into the atmosphere and enough energy has been saved to power a small town for a year or the city of Rome for ten days and to square the circle in all this, all we as consumers have to do, is buy a bikini. What is there not to like about all this? Without wanting to sound like cheerleaders for Fourth Element – whose advertising is pretty dam slick anyway - we can't find much wrong with any of this. It all looks and sounds like a true environmental business success story. There is just one thing though, something that could be a real deal breaker. What if those bikinis aren't any good? You see no matter how noble the idea is, if the resulting product is, shall we say, a bit crap. Then the whole concept falls flat on its noble nose. So there was nothing else to do then but buy some Ocean Positive swimwear and compare them with a brand leader in swimwear to see if the noble idea held water so to speak. The brand we choose was Speedo. The reason is simple. We all own a pair of Speedos already and didn't have to buy anything else to do the comparison. We want to give you a honest review here but we don't want it to cost us too much, we've got beer money to think about after all. Now, we have no idea about how Speedos are manufactured or whether they are recycled or not but that's not the point. Speedo is the leading player in the market and they make very, very good swimwear.

Anyway we bought some Ocean Positive bikini's and swims shorts and put them to the test in the cold waters of Britain. The first thing to note is that Ocean Positive uses some very attractive and very athletic looking models in its advertising. Such people would look good even after running a marathon dressed in nothing more than a refuse bag. We, on the other hand, and we suspect a great many of you are not these people. Though we like to think of ourselves as relatively fit and toned individuals, we do tend to sag a bit in places. The second thing to note is that Ocean Positive swimwear is designed to be worn under a wetsuit and the third thing to note, as we have pointed out before in our review of the Fourth Element Pro Dive Amphibious shorts, is that Fourth Element have a bit of a sizing issue. Now either everyone in the Fourth Element sizing department is an attractive, athletic model who has never met the average diver and his belly or they are confusing the metric and imperial systems of measurement. The result of all this is that the swimwear is pretty snug. So snug in fact that, if you're a man your voice is going to go up a few octaves and if you are a woman you might find you bulge in places you rather wish you didn't. So we recommend that you err on the side of caution and go for a larger size than normal. Interestingly we found no problem with the Speedo sizing, all fitted perfectly. Once the size issue was sorted both sets of swimwear were equally comfortable. Both Ocean Positive and Speedo bikinis' were easy to get in and out of, having no “annoying” ties and clasps that you find on fashion bikinis. We did find that the Ocean Positive fitted more easily under our wetsuits and didn't bunch up in those awkward uncomfortable places like the Speedos did. However we suspect that had we bothered to purchase a more expensive style of Speedo this would not have been a problem either.

The Malaku Bikini won't look this good on everyone!

The Ocean Positive range is rather limited at the moment, but the designs that are available were generally well received, the bikini wearers among us preferred the black Malaku design to any of the others. Black, apparently gentlemen, is more slimming. The deeper voiced among us had even less choice having to settle for either a black or blue pair of budgie smugglers or a pair of black or blue Cayman swim shorts. The swim shorts won the vote as only “twats wear trunks” or something like that. Speedo, as can be expected, has a massive range and Ocean Positive can't really compete on that front. It can however compete on price. Speedo's vast range means that there are decent swimsuits available from around £16 to well over £70 whilst the Ocean Positive range is priced at around £40 for women and £23 for men which is hardly expensive. Then again neither price nor limited range means much when you consider the benefits of the underlying concept. This then is the crux of the matter. In general we found no real difference between the brands. Both performed well, both looked stylish and both were relatively inexpensive. So what it all boils down to, is the concept of how Ocean Positive are made. Take that into consideration and there really is no contest. Ocean Positive then, doesn't fall flat on its noble nose and is, in our opinion, pretty damn good.

In fact we think they are so good that every diver, snorkeller, water enthusiast or beach lover should go out and buy a rash vest, a bikini or even a pair of twat trunks. Yes, the range is a little limited at the moment and yes they might feel a little snug in places and yes, you might sometimes be a little creeped out by the fact that the piece of material cradling your crotch was once full of dead fish but none of that matters because you will feel good about yourself. You have done something positive about ocean welfare. And all you had to do to get this euphoric sense of doing something noble and worthwhile was to buy a piece of swimwear. So go and buy some Ocean Positive stuff and feel good about yourself.