Milos Island - A Dangerous Snorkelling Club Quick Guide
Jeremy Clarkson has been
sacked! Well actually he hasn’t. The B.B.C have simply not renewed his
contract, angering millions of worldwide fans in the process and, more
bewilderingly, managing to reduce their yearly income by 50 million pounds.
Some say that that’s not a very bright business decision; others say the
loudmouth deserved it for punching a workmate. Others still, say that a horde
of other broadcasters are imagining the swelling in their wallets at the very
thought of Clarkson, May and the other one (you know, the short angry bloke….
What’s his name?) coming to work for them. All we know is that Jeremy currently
has a lot of time on his hands. So what to do? Jeremy of course likes
snorkelling and we can’t think of a better way to decompress from all the stress
of having some Irish bloke offering you a cold platter at the end of a long day
of filming rather than the blood dripping steak you were looking forward to,
than to pop on the old mask and snorkel and head off into the big blue. The
question is where to go. The Caribbean is always nice but Jeremy’s been there
before, lots of times. Mexico? No, that’s out because Jeremy thinks they’re all
lazy, the USA is not much better as Jeremy doesn’t like the Toyota Prius,
pickups, Hilary Clinton or people called Billy Bob. Argentina is definitely off
the list due to some early fracas about a car number plate and South East Asia
has too many inclines for Jeremy’s taste.
Not to worry though because we’ve got the perfect idea, snorkelling in
Milos Island. Here then is The Dangerous Snorkelling Club quick guide to the
Island of Milos especially for Mr Clarkson.
The History Stuff
Ever heard of the Venus De Milo Jeremy? Well this is where the famous
armless statue was
discovered in 1820. Having been inhabited since around 8000
BC, Milos has a long, long history. So long in fact that we’d need several
guides to cover it. So if you want to brush up on the history stuff before you
go Jeremy, click here.
The Tourist Stuff
Given its rich history Jeremy, Milos has a lot to
offer. If you’re in a cultural mood, you can visit any of the
amphitheatres, castles, catacombs, Byzantine churches and museums. There are
also two organised archaeological sites to wander around if that floats your
boat. However, knowing that you were born in Doncaster and that mines are a
part of your upbringing we think that you might be more interested in the
islands geology and consequent mineral wealth. You see Jeremy, Milos is
volcanic and mining has been part of it’s history ever since the first man
unexpectedly stubbed his toe on a shiny rock whilst walking on the beach.
Mining still continues on the island today and you can visit the now abandoned
sulphur mines in the bay of Paliorema on the east coast. The bay has stunning
crystal water and the beach is painted in yellow pebbles – you might like to
take one back to James May, he looks the sort that likes rocks. The beach at
Sarakiniko could be a backdrop for a science fiction epic with its snow-white
volcanic, almost alien, landscape. The Rocky Islet of Glaronissia is also worth
a visit for a similar reason. The volcanic activity here has fashioned a
landscape that is simply stunning and is only really appreciated up close from
one of the many boat trips to the area. Milos is also the first island we’ve
visited that appears not to be famous for it’s “local wines”, which means
Jeremy, that you can get a decent glass of vino and we know that you like that. The islands volcanic landscape is superbly described at this site
The Snorkelling Bit
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| Papafragas Beach |
What’s the best place to go
snorkelling then we here you ask? Well we’re coming to that. There are three
decent sites to visit. First up is the rocky beach of Papafragas on the
northern coast. Here you will find caves, rocky crevices, fields of seagrass
and a good variety of marine life. The sandy seabed is a haven for wide-eyed
flounders and the rocky shore is infested with tubeworms, blennies (including
the brightly coloured small Triplefin Blenny - that’s a small red and black
fish if the short bloke asks) and crabs. Further offshore you will find shoals
of Damselfish, Saddled Seabream and Two-banded Seabream.
 |
| Sarakiniko Beach |
The second choice is the
volcanic landscape of Sarakiniko, with its shipwreck of the Sicily a
few metres
offshore (see our video of the wreck on our youtube channel Jeremy, to get an
idea of the type of stuff that awaits you). The wreck is a magnet for marine
life and you’ll find the usual array of Mediterranean species along with
Parrot fish, Groupers and Cardinal fish. Further to the left of the wreck you’ll
find a range of caves and crevices that shelter shoals of Bream, Boxlip Mullet,
Saupe, European Barracuda and Bogue (yep, another fish if what’s his name asks
again).
The third beach is Fyriplaka
on the southern coast. Fyriplaka is a sandy beach, which can reduce visibility
when the conditions are poor. The best snorkelling is found on the left hand
side of the beach along the rocky outcrops (see our wipeout post Jeremy). Again
the common species can be found here, along with crabs, Bearded Fireworms, Sea
Cucumbers, Spinners and of course the standard Ornate Wrasse and Combers.
 |
| Fyriplaka Beach |
Milos has around 75 beaches Jeremy and some of
the locals will no doubt recommend the beaches of Gerontas and Klefitiko,
towards the southern tip of the island. Both are difficult to reach (Klefitiko
is only accessible by boat) and both were very disappointing so we would
recommend you steer clear of them. Likewise the beach at Tsigrado, to the right
of Fyriplaka, is often hyped by the locals and like other over-hyped things
such as Porsche, cold meats and BBC executives, it too should be avoided. I
think you know where we’re coming from Jeremy. Tsigrado is only reached by a
steep (rope assisted) climb down the cliff face and is utterly unworthy of all
the effort – it’s a terrible beach, devoid of anything interesting to a
snorkeller and completely wrecked by litter. We also recommend you avoid any of
the large organised beaches in the south and east of the island due to
overcrowding and the lack of marine interest. Overall the snorkelling at the
three sites mentioned above is very good Jeremy, but if you’re prepared to
brave the gravel roads and dirt tracks (which we know you are) there are a
variety of other beaches on the west coast. Be warned though, the remoteness
and difficulty of access makes these beaches a big draw for nudists which can
be a little off putting. That’s right Jeremy; the
nudists are all German and all a bit wobbly in the skin department.
Are there any good restaurants?
Obviously we know that food
is a contentious issue for you Jeremy and you do seem to like a meaty diet. We
therefore recommend the O Hamos restaurant just on the outskirts of the port of
Adamas. The food is described as “authentic Greek” but don’t let that put you
off. We found that the chefs at O Hamos did manage to cobble together a decent
meal and the staff are friendly and helpful. We also know that when in London
you tend to hang about in Notting Hill so you’ll know that you have to book
tables at popular restaurants otherwise you’ll be disappointed, O Hamos is no
different, you’ll need to book a table, if you don’t you’ll be queuing outside,
with the non-celebrity types, for hours waiting for a table to become free. If
you feel a little more adventurous there are a multitude of other restaurants
on the island but be warned O Hamos is without doubt the best, so if your going
to try any others, make sure you’ve got the indigestion tablets with you. Of
course if you become tired of cheese salad and cubed lamb try the Stone Bakery
in Adamas, it’s open all hours and does bread, buns, sandwiches, pizza and a
whole pantheon of other baked goods and all are pretty damn good Jeremy! The
spinach and cheese pie was a particular favourite.
Are there any good bars?
 |
| The sort of bar you hope to find |
Err… Now then Jeremy, we don’t want you to think
that we’ve sent you to a drinking black spot so you can clear your head, but in
all honesty you might find a trip to the island a sobering experience. Milos
has the worst offering of bars we have ever encountered, ever! The majority are
that bane of Greek nightlife, the lounge bar, and should be avoided to protect
your sanity. There are some establishments that claim to be proper bars, but
their lack of drink choice and their bar staffs obsession with trying to look
like Christina Aguilera – and therefore, in their own minds, being too cool to
actually serve anyone – proves they have singularly failed to grasp the concept
of what a bar is and does! Having travelled a great deal around the islands it
has become clear to us that the Greeks Islanders have no idea what makes a good
bar, so Jeremy if you are looking for a commercial opportunity outside television,
we suggest you pick any Greek Island, open up a bar with bar stools, draught
beer, a selection of spirits and the readiness to serve thirsty customers in
exchange for money and you’ll make a small fortune. Of course when you’re not
looking, the locals will probably burn the place down. Islanders don’t
understand and certainly don’t like competition. Never in our experience have
bar owners considered the idea of being crap at what they do as a business goal
except in the Greek Islands. It’s why every bar you’ll ever
see is exactly the
same as every other bar. Uniform mediocrity is plainly not a derogatory
expression in the islands; it’s a business philosophy! Of course Jeremy, if all
you are looking for is to kick back with a nice class of wine, we’re are sure
you could blag your
way onto one of the expensive yachts that are moored in the harbour - you
are famous after all – and watch in smug comfort as the rest of us “ordinary
people” struggle to find anywhere decent to drink. Then again having a few
weeks drink free might be a nice change so Milos’ lack of alcohol based
amenities might just be the thing you’re looking for. On the other hand you
might like lounge bars - you’d be mad if you did, but you never know – in which
case you’ll love all the bars in Milos.
 |
| The bar you actually find - yawn! |
What if you want to have a little drive about?
 |
| One of the many dirt tracks |
Milos, Jeremy, like most of the Greek Islands is full of fat blokes driving
badly, so you should fit in perfectly. And if you turn left or right off any of
the small number of tarmac roads you’ll find the sort of off-roading terrain that will wreck your suspension faster than a Ferrari can go from zero to
sixty. Fun as that sounds Jeremy, we know you have a bad back so don’t overdo
it now! Oh and make sure you get the right insurance. Car hire companies out here
are prone to suddenly presenting you with a large and dubiously compiled bill
for the merest of damage to the
vehicle. Which is odd, because Greek roads seem
designed for nothing else but to damage cars. If you are out and about
in the more rural areas watch out for the Milos Viper. It's a poisonous
little blighter that is found all over the island but
particularly in the more mountainous areas. We never saw a single one in
the
time that we were there so we don’t think that there is much to worry
about, but you never know!
Getting affectionate beneath the waves
The Statistical Stuff
Population: 4,554
Area: 151 sq. km.
Capital: Plaka (Milos Town)
How to get there: Direct flights from Athens during the summer months with Aegean Airlines, By Ferry from Piraeus, Crete, Dodecanese and the other Cyclades,
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