Want To Save The Oceans? Then Go And Buy A Bikini

Not that long ago Fourth Element launched their Ocean Positive range of swimwear. The idea behind the range was to give people a purchasing choice. You can either buy a bikini or a pair of budgie smugglers that has a direct impact on ocean welfare or you could buy something else and live with the guilt. What impact can buying a bloody bikini have on ocean welfare you might well ask. Well for a start the Ocean Positive range are made from recycled fishing nets. These “ghost nets” are abandoned by fisherman after snagging on reefs and wrecks and pose a significant threat to marine life. In short they continue to fish even though abandoned, trapping a staggering variety of marine life and resulting in the loss of thousands upon thousand of creatures each year. They also destroy coral as currents drag them across reefs, literally scrubbing the reef clean. But thanks to a recycling process created by the Italian company Aquafil and the Ghost Fishing Project which enlists teams of divers to recover the nets in the first place, this scourge of the ocean suddenly becomes a high quality nylon yarn capable of being turned into a bikini. 

Anyone who has read about ghost nets and their sickening impact on the marine environment would be hard pressed to argue that their removal is a bad thing. And, if you watch the video messages from such people as Amanda Cotton, Dave Schott and others which are on the Ocean Positive website, you would have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by the images of fish, sharks, seals and turtles that have died after being trapped in the nets. So the concept of Ocean Positive is a noble one and unlike some other noble concepts that often turn out to be nothing more than hot air, the team at Fourth Element have turned the concept into a tangible product that you can buy.

The oceans are cleared of ghost nets by heroic divers around the world so saving marine life. The Italians recycle the nets into nylon yarn which apparently means that twelve thousand tons of waste has been eliminated, seventy thousand barrels of oil have not had to be used, forty-two thousand tons of CO2 hasn’t been released into the atmosphere and enough energy has been saved to power a small town for a year or the city of Rome for ten days and to square the circle in all this, all we as consumers have to do, is buy a bikini. What is there not to like about all this? Without wanting to sound like cheerleaders for Fourth Element – whose advertising is pretty dam slick anyway - we can't find much wrong with any of this. It all looks and sounds like a true environmental business success story. There is just one thing though, something that could be a real deal breaker. What if those bikinis aren't any good? You see no matter how noble the idea is, if the resulting product is, shall we say, a bit crap. Then the whole concept falls flat on its noble nose. So there was nothing else to do then but buy some Ocean Positive swimwear and compare them with a brand leader in swimwear to see if the noble idea held water so to speak. The brand we choose was Speedo. The reason is simple. We all own a pair of Speedos already and didn't have to buy anything else to do the comparison. We want to give you a honest review here but we don't want it to cost us too much, we've got beer money to think about after all. Now, we have no idea about how Speedos are manufactured or whether they are recycled or not but that's not the point. Speedo is the leading player in the market and they make very, very good swimwear.

Anyway we bought some Ocean Positive bikini's and swims shorts and put them to the test in the cold waters of Britain. The first thing to note is that Ocean Positive uses some very attractive and very athletic looking models in its advertising. Such people would look good even after running a marathon dressed in nothing more than a refuse bag. We, on the other hand, and we suspect a great many of you are not these people. Though we like to think of ourselves as relatively fit and toned individuals, we do tend to sag a bit in places. The second thing to note is that Ocean Positive swimwear is designed to be worn under a wetsuit and the third thing to note, as we have pointed out before in our review of the Fourth Element Pro Dive Amphibious shorts, is that Fourth Element have a bit of a sizing issue. Now either everyone in the Fourth Element sizing department is an attractive, athletic model who has never met the average diver and his belly or they are confusing the metric and imperial systems of measurement. The result of all this is that the swimwear is pretty snug. So snug in fact that, if you're a man your voice is going to go up a few octaves and if you are a woman you might find you bulge in places you rather wish you didn't. So we recommend that you err on the side of caution and go for a larger size than normal. Interestingly we found no problem with the Speedo sizing, all fitted perfectly. Once the size issue was sorted both sets of swimwear were equally comfortable. Both Ocean Positive and Speedo bikinis' were easy to get in and out of, having no “annoying” ties and clasps that you find on fashion bikinis. We did find that the Ocean Positive fitted more easily under our wetsuits and didn't bunch up in those awkward uncomfortable places like the Speedos did. However we suspect that had we bothered to purchase a more expensive style of Speedo this would not have been a problem either.

The Malaku Bikini won't look this good on everyone!

The Ocean Positive range is rather limited at the moment, but the designs that are available were generally well received, the bikini wearers among us preferred the black Malaku design to any of the others. Black, apparently gentlemen, is more slimming. The deeper voiced among us had even less choice having to settle for either a black or blue pair of budgie smugglers or a pair of black or blue Cayman swim shorts. The swim shorts won the vote as only “twats wear trunks” or something like that. Speedo, as can be expected, has a massive range and Ocean Positive can't really compete on that front. It can however compete on price. Speedo's vast range means that there are decent swimsuits available from around £16 to well over £70 whilst the Ocean Positive range is priced at around £40 for women and £23 for men which is hardly expensive. Then again neither price nor limited range means much when you consider the benefits of the underlying concept. This then is the crux of the matter. In general we found no real difference between the brands. Both performed well, both looked stylish and both were relatively inexpensive. So what it all boils down to, is the concept of how Ocean Positive are made. Take that into consideration and there really is no contest. Ocean Positive then, doesn't fall flat on its noble nose and is, in our opinion, pretty damn good.

In fact we think they are so good that every diver, snorkeller, water enthusiast or beach lover should go out and buy a rash vest, a bikini or even a pair of twat trunks. Yes, the range is a little limited at the moment and yes they might feel a little snug in places and yes, you might sometimes be a little creeped out by the fact that the piece of material cradling your crotch was once full of dead fish but none of that matters because you will feel good about yourself. You have done something positive about ocean welfare. And all you had to do to get this euphoric sense of doing something noble and worthwhile was to buy a piece of swimwear. So go and buy some Ocean Positive stuff and feel good about yourself.

Return To Jellyfish Bay

Isles of Scilly 2016 - Part One

 

Arrghhh me hearties! Tis time to slap on the eye-patch and unpack ye snorkel see. Weigh anchor we cry. Brace the mainsail and raise the Jolly Roger. Tis to the Scilly Isles we head in search of fun, frolics and snorkelling plunder.

Okay, enough of the Long John Silver stuff. In September last year, following stories of large numbers of Mauve Stinger jellyfish being reported in the seas around South West Britain, we were drawn to the waters of the Scilly Isles. Undaunted by the fact that, as their name implies, they come equipped with a painful sting we hoped to get up close and personal with these stunning gelatinous critters. And, at Pelistry Bay, on the Island of St Mary's are hopes were more than met. The previous winters unusually strong storms had driven vast clouds of the Mauve Stingers food source towards the Scilly Isles and the Jellyfish had naturally followed. What we found when we arrived was that the waters around this bay of silver white sand virtually pulsed with Mauve Stingers along with dozens of Compass, Crystal and Moon Jellyfish.

Now, with the hope that the waters were a little warmer, we returned to Pelistry Bay to see if any of the Atlantic Ocean invaders remained as well as seeing what other, more native species, might lurk in the forests of kelp.

The Bay can be reached by foot from the capital, Hugh Town, although it will take some time and if you are carrying cameras, wetsuits, masks, snorkels and several flasks of warming tea (the waters can be cold around here) or are not as fit as you think you are then there is nothing easier than making the journey in an electric golf cart. These can be hired on a daily basis from The Scilly Cart Company for around £40. So loading up the bright yellow carts with our equipment, we strapped on our seat belts, slammed the pedal to the metal and hurtled off up the road at the staggering speed of 5 mph. Yep, golf carts are not that fast and you are going to be overtaken by cars, lorries, bikes and the odd elderly jogger. You are not going to look very cool either. It is, after all, a bright yellow golf cart that makes a horrendous beeping noise when reversing and doesn't cope that well with any of the hills on the island but they are still great fun to weave around the country lanes on. Anyway, looking cool isn't everything, just ask anyone who has a PADI badge sewn onto their clothing.

Blue Jellyfish

Finding a spot to park the N.Y.C cab coloured carts, we followed the rocky path down to the Bay. Pelistry is regarded as the best beach on the island so tends to attract the crowd. Although, this is the Isles of Scilly we're are talking about and a crowd down here is anything more than two people so it never gets that busy. When we arrived, there was a man with a dog strolling along the beach and that was it.

A very dull person, who has lots of diving badges, once told us that the temperature of the waters around Britain are always two months behind the air temperature. So if you went for a dip on a warm June day, the sea temperature would be that of a freezing cold morning in April. This is of course turns out to be utter pig swill! Last September the water temperature was akin to walking into a freezer even though, if the theory was right, it should have been like diving into a hot tub, as July 2015 was very warm. This year, a dip into the sea in July should have been the same as walking around on a cold day in May. It wasn't. It was in fact warmer than last year. Of course when we say it was warmer than last year that doesn't mean it was in fact warm. It's simply that last year the water was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. This year the brass monkey would be shivering it's heart out and look decidedly blue, but it's metallic gonads would still be attached – just.

A Wrasse darts through the kelp

So, making a mental note not to pay any attention to dull men in pubs ever again we kitted up and took the plunge. No matter where we have been in the world, there is nothing to compare to the other worldly sensation you get when you snorkel through the kelp and seaweed forests of the Scilly Isles. It really does feel like you are exploring an alien jungle. In places the seaweed completely carpets the ocean bed making it appear that the sea floor is moving back and forth as the fronds are caught in the tidal current. Something that can be a little disorientating if you are prone to the old Mal De Mare. In other parts, the kelps rise up from the ocean floor to form an impenetrable underwater maze that drives the snorkeller one way and then another.

The kelp may have seemed alien but the real aliens we were after were no where to be seen. Our attention wavered somewhat. We loitered a while watching prawns dancing beneath an overhang, we followed various wrasse as they darted in and out of the kelp and then we came across a small blue jellyfish. But that seemed to be that, the shoals of jellyfish we had seen last September had clearly moved on. Just as we were considering calling it a day, a cry went up. Actually it was a more of a loud burble as one of our clan spotted something large and spherical in the murky distance. There, happily drifting through the sunken forest was a huge compass jellyfish, it's tentacles and oral arms trailing a good metre and a half from the bell. Perhaps it had been here for a while, a grown up version of a smaller specimen we had seen last year or perhaps it was a newcomer. Whatever, it put the icing on the cake of our first forage back in the bay. Cameras snapped and film rolled (metaphorically) as we drifted with the gelatinous giant for a while before cold and hunger took hold. 

That Huge Compass Jellyfish

We emerged to find the beach was now full of families sitting on towels, men comparing dogs and a bizarre convoy of jogging pensioners was snaking along the shore. Alright, there was one family and that man with the dog had met a friend but that convoy of pensioners was real - we swear. De-kitted and several mugs of hot tea later it was back to the nippy carts. Time to hit the pub and start talking like a pirate again.

Tis true me hearties! In these far flung parts ye 'ave to speak like old Blackbeard 'imself or the locals won't understand a word ye say. This is Cornwall after all and the language down here is as different to English as Latin is to Swahili. Mines a jar of frothy swill ye scurvy swab and make it quick damn ya eyes....

More pictures and video will be posted on our flickr and youtube pages over the next few weeks so check back again.

We'd Like You To Support This Project..... No Pressure

Have you recently made a donation to a conservation project or charity? If so, you've probably noticed that your email is now chock-a-block with demands for money from every single conservation organisation on the planet. Sign up to the World Rescue Fund for the conservation of poodles and before you know it you are being asked to save the whales, save the donkeys, save the pandas, the rain forests, the badgers, the flatulent gibbons of Patagonia and Donald Trump's hair.

All of which of course are noble and valid causes, with exception of the flatulent gibbons. We just made that up.

Anyway. Farting monkeys aside. We all know that even the most committed of conservationists can become a bit jaded by the endless stream of charities , projects and societies, making ever more hysterical pitches for cash.

Which is why we are a little reluctant to bring to your attention another project that needs a little of your hard earned cash. The trouble is that this particular project is, we feel, one of the most important of its kind and it really does need your help.

Back in 2006, filmmaker Rob Stewart brought the horrific problem of shark finning to a global audience in his ground breaking documentary Sharkwater.

Teaming up with Paul Watson and the Sea Shepherd Organisation, Rob exposed the horror, greed and criminality at the heart of the trade in shark fins and in the process became involved in sea battles with shark poachers, gun boat chases, Mafia gangs. Espionage and attempted murder charges.

The documentary went on to win twenty three international film awards and brought the plight of sharks into the cinemas and living rooms of communities around the world. The resulting public outcry led directly to the banning of shark fining throughout much of the world and spawned a movement to protect sharks Now however Rob is trying to raise more funds via kickstarter to gain support for a new film due for release in 2017. Sharkwater Extinction is described as “a quest to find 80 million missing sharks, revealing a multi billion-dollar scandal that implicates us all in the greatest wildlife massacre ever known.”

It is a story of how our fear of sharks and complacency as consumers has let sharks be slaughtered and turned into lipstick, moisturiser, pet food, livestock feed, fertiliser and even fast food sandwiches. With a major focus of the film being the cosmetics industry — people will be shocked to learn they’ve been smearing sharks on their faces!

The film has the backing and support of Sea Shepherd and a great many others but sadly with just a few days left of Rob's Kickstarter campaign, he is still short of the required goal of $150,000

So if you can help, please visit the kickstarter page by clicking here and make a pledge. If you can't help and we understand that not all of us can, please spread the word so that others that "can" might be made aware of the opportunity.

If on the other hand you are more worried about the lack of pungent air in Patagonia or Donkeys and badgers etc. We apologise for taking up your precious time and wish you the best of luck in saving whatever it is you're saving.

Thanks.

Update July 20th 2016 - Thanks to all those who pledged your support, Rob has now surpassed the $150,000. As of 15:45 GMT the total pledged has reached over $173,000.... Excellent effort guys!

Think You've Got Insurance To Snorkel? Think Again.

Going on a trip? Then you'll need to make sure that if anything untoward happens, you have insurance. Fortunately there are a whole host of men and women in swanky suits on the other end of your internet connection just waiting to offer you platinum cover insurance at rock bottom prices. Just click and pay and you're covered..... It's so easy. Ah if only it were so. Any seasoned traveller will be well aware that when it comes to insurance, the devil really is in the detail or to be more precise, it's in the microscopic small print. A recent article in the British Daily Mail newspaper highlighted the fact that a great majority of “cheap” insurance policies offered by insurers really aren't worth the paper they are printed on. We all know about the problems of excess payments and the fact that most insurers don't cover “hazardous activities” such as skiing, rock climbing and diving without you paying an extra premium, but few of us are probably aware that the swanky suited insurance salesmen also won't cover you for activities such as using a jet ski or going on one of those banana boat things. The article even pointed out that some policies were voided if you hurt yourself snorkelling.

Now many people consider snorkelling a sedate, unadventurous activity, that is fun for all the family. Some companies that offer snorkelling tours even suggest that because, in its most basic form, snorkelling only requires you to float on the surface, those undertaking the activity don't even have to be able to swim. So why wouldn't an insurance company cover you for bobbing about with your face in the water? Well one reason may be that, as we have pointed out before, snorkelling companies that say you don't need to be able to swim to be able to snorkel, are full of brown smelly stuff and shouldn't be trusted with their own safety let alone that of your children or elderly grandmother. Even at it's most sedentary, there are inherent dangers in snorkelling. You can suffer severe cuts from sharp coral and rocks, you can be bashed off the same coral and rocks by wave action and suffer bumps, bruises, broken bones and fractured skulls. A great number of seemingly innocuous marine life are armed with venomous spines and barbs. And. A great many more can tear huge lumps out of you. Then of course there are those uninsured jet skiers and fat people on banana boats speeding about the place with carefree abandon. Most of whom couldn't spot a terrible haircut from three feet (mainly there own) let alone a small head bobbing around in the waves. And it doesn't stop there. Snorkellers can suffer severe sunburn, they can develop hypothermia, get dragged out to sea by strong currents and finally, even if you can swim, you can still bloody well drown.

All of these are worst case scenarios of course, but that's what insurers work on. They are taking a gamble, albeit a calculated one, that you are a sensible person who isn't going to do anything silly and therefore put yourself and their livelihood at risk. Let's face it, if insurers just went on the idea that they would insure anyone to do anything then they'd have to charge premiums so high that no one could afford them and therefore go out of business 24 hours after they started. There is another reason though and that is that insurers are not only taking a calculated risk on you not doing anything silly whilst on holiday, they're also taking a calculated risk that you will be so thrilled by the cheap cost of your insurance that, even if you could find it, you won't bother to read or for that matter, understand the small print. They didn't get those swanky suits by paying claims now did they?

So what can the average snorkeller with an average pay packet do to ensure that they have insurance cover that allows them to partake in their sporting hobby? Well here are what we call the four Cs that we use to make sure our insurance is worth the paper it's printed on.

Cheap is cheap, it doesn't mean it's any good. No insurance provider would offer gold-plated insurance at bargain basement prices. So if it's cheap it's probably rubbish – we won't touch cheap insurance. That doesn't mean that you should go out and buy an insurance policy that comes in a 14-carat, diamond encrusted cover but you should make sure it is the best you can afford and provides reasonable cover. Try to avoid any policy that doesn't provide "no excess" cover as well. It's pretty pointless if your two-thousand pound camera gets stolen and you have to stump up the first thousand pounds before the insurer begrudgingly gives you the rest.

Comprehensive is best. Make sure the cover is comprehensive. In another words it covers you for most, if not all, eventualities that can go wrong on the trip from having your wallet stolen on the beach to covering medical costs if you should have an accident. Also check that in the event of a serious accident your policy covers transfer and repatriation costs otherwise you may find yourself facing a bill that would bankrupt a small country. Finally, make sure that if you are snorkelling, diving or bouncing about on a banana boat, that the insurance provides full cover or whether you have to pay an additional premium.

Check the small print. We know that insurance cover is boring and that policy documents sometimes seem to be written in a foreign language but we cannot stress the importance of checking the details. Insurers are in the business of selling you a policy that they hope you don't need and if you do need it, they have an army of legal eagles in the background whose job is to build in clauses to the policy to prevent payouts. For instance, if you are going scuba diving you might think that you have adequate insurance since the policy highlights diving as one of the activities covered. But a quick check of the detail might reveal that you are only covered to a certain depth (usually 30m), that you must hold a valid certificate of proficiency from a bona fide diving organisation for the dive being undertaken, that all the equipment you're using is adequate and in good order for the dive, or that you are under the direct supervision of qualified diving instructor. You might also find that no insurer will cover you if you dive within 24 hours of flying or vice versa. Some insurers will also refuse cover if you dive whilst suffering from a cold, flu or obstruction of the sinuses or ears. Some insurers will also not cover anyone under the age of 12 and all will void your cover if you dive whilst suffering from any medical condition that is likely to impair your fitness to dive. And that list of conditions is very long indeed. Most general insurance companies will also not cover you for diving below 50 metres, cave diving, night dives or diving solo.

Consider single activity insurance. Many people have annual multi-trip insurance or insurance that is provided by having a specific credit card or bank account. If this is the case, check that this insurance covers you for snorkelling or diving etc. If not, you might want to consider taking out activity specific insurance. This is insurance that covers only the specific activity such as snorkelling and is additional to the insurance you already have. A number of specialist insurers will provide pretty comprehensive cover for diving, snorkelling and freediving activities anywhere in the world. If you're a member of a snorkelling or diving club, check out your governing organisations advice on insurance as most, such as B.S.A.C, will be able to point you in the right direction.

There you go, we hope these four tips help. They certainly work for us but there is one last thing you should keep in mind when buying insurance. Swanky suited salespeople are just that, salespeople in swanky suits. They are there to sell you stuff and that stuff might not be what you want or in fact what you need. So buyer beware.