The sun is shining, the
temperature is rising and thoughts turn to palm trees swaying in a sultry
breeze, warms waters lapping against shore and the delights of dipping beneath
azure waters to gaze upon Cousteau's underwater empire. Unfortunately though, such
thoughts must be put on an indefinite hold as Covid-19 or SARS 2, The Revenge,
as it is probably being called in Hollywood meetings, wreaks havoc on the
tourism and aviation industry alike.
Still if you can't
actually partake of your beloved water sport, you can still gain a modicum of
pleasure in browsing the interwebby looking for some new whizzy bit of kit.
There is nothing that enthusiasts of all sports like better than owning a new
piece of tech. And there is nothing that sports kit manufacturers like better
than selling us their shiny new gizmos, gadgets and thingamajigs that, they
assure us, will make us look cool and fashionable the next time we go to the
beach or step onto that dive boat.
Let’s face it; we’re all
guilty of this aren’t we? Who among us hasn’t disposed of a perfectly usable piece of gear and replaced it with something we really didn’t need but it was a
“bargain” and it looks soooooo good?
There are of course people
who take such guilty pleasures too far. These people are called PADI diving
instructors. Then there are people who don't go far enough. For this second
group of people being cool and fashionable on the beach can be achieved with a
single purchase, for they believe that coolness comes not from a natty rash
vest, a snazzy wetsuit or even a body shape that resembles something faintly
human. For them all water sport chic is wrapped up in a single piece of sci-fi
wizardry, the full-face snorkel mask. These people are called many things, none
of which is polite. But spare a thought for these people for in this dark and
cloudy time their world is becoming even less pleasant.
Decathlon, the French
originators of the first full-face mask are limiting purchases of
their full-face masks to just 2 per person. This means that the poor, fashion
challenged, purchasers of these masks are denied the chance to own every
available colour these things come in. Oh the inhumanity of it all…! Imagine having to go to the beach in your
blue shorts and not having a blue mask to match. And let’s not forget the poor
wives, in their pink bikinis, not being able to get a matching pink mask to
complete the ensemble and having to make do with the boring white one instead!
 |
| I SAID. WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO THAT LECTURE ON HAND SIGNALS |
Why is this happening? Well apparently, scientists, medics, students and people in sheds across the world are busily retrofitting full-face masks and turning them into ventilators and personal protective equipment in order to support the global fight against the pesky virus. Manufacturers like Decathlon are assisting in this by helping with supply and advice and therefore stocks are reduced.
Anyone who’s read our
previous pieces on full-face masks couldn’t help but notice that we are not
fans of these things. We think that they are…. how can we put this… not very
good at all. But even we couldn’t have a problem with them being used in the
battle against Covid could we? Err… Yeah we could.
Putting aside the
ingenuity of the boffins and shed workers who are refitting these masks and
their undoubted desire to help for one minute and assuming that Decathlon and
other manufacturers are being nothing but altruistic in their assistance, we
still feel a little uncomfortable about all this.
Imagine for instance that
you are rushed into hospital panting like an asthmatic hippo, your lungs ridden
with virus. You’d want the medics to use everything in their armoury to help
you right? You’d want ventilators, drugs and computer panels that beep and
flash every twenty seconds. But would you want a doctor to pull out a pink
plastic full-face snorkel mask with a balloon thingy attached and slap it on
your face. Would you? Really?
Let’s face it, lying in a
hospital bed all wheezy and pale with cannulas in your veins and tubes shoved
up your never-regions is not exactly dignified. To then have your head cocooned
in what resembles Darth Vader’s summer dress helmet seems like adding insult to
injury. Particularly if you remember that full-face snorkelling masks have
inherent flaws that mean they aren’t much good for snorkelling and those same
inherent flaws will probably mean they aren’t much good as ventilators either.
This would be a stopgap at best, a temporary make-do solution to the very real
problem of not having enough proper ventilators in the first place. And it will
make your wheezing even worse, when it dawns on you that not only may you die
because your hospital hasn’t got enough proper medical equipment, you may
suffer an even worse indignity and actually be saved by a $30 beach toy. This
of course would be catastrophic for healthcare systems around the world as
public confidence is eroded by news of your miraculous survival.
After all what’s the point
of ploughing loads of money into healthcare? Why should doctors and nurses go
through all that training and what have all those research and development
scientists being doing for years if the solution to treating Covid patients
turns out to be a spotty student in a shed in Belgium who’s stuck a plastic
thingy on a mask designed for fat people to go snorkelling in? That’s like a an
Olympic skier finding out that he’d probably be better off slapping two planks
of wood to his feet or an aircraft designer discovering that propellers really
do work better when powered by elastic bands. It’s just too mad to think about.
Science, medicine and research the world over would be a laughing stock.
But before you get all hot
under the collar at such a thought we can ease yours and our own discomfort a
little. You see despite myriad articles on the web explaining how and why these
masks are being reconfigured, there is no actual evidence that we can find to
prove that they have worked as ventilators at all. Yes there are a lot of
clever people out there fiddling with things and trying to prove to their wives
that the 3-d printer they bought wasn’t a waste of money but are they actually
achieving anything other than publicity? We’re not so sure.
 |
| Old-School |
So perhaps it’s not quite
time to throw the towel in on developing proper ventilators and other medical
kit. And maybe engine designers shouldn’t rush to invest in rubber just yet.
Our discomfort about all
of this is further eased by the fact that these masks may have a role as
personal protective equipment. Clearly the purpose of any PPE is to provide a
barrier to the infection and these masks do that as long as they are fitted
with a filter. Although the nurses and doctors working in ITU will probably not
be too thrilled to wear them. If your putting your life on the line in Covid
wards we imagine that you’d probably prefer to be wearing a certified mask that
has been safety checked and tested to ensure it does actually provide
protection rather than being handed something that’s been knocked up in a
Berlin apartment by a student dress designer called Otto.
Still that doesn’t mean
that members of the public couldn’t make use of them to help in the easing of
lockdown. Mr and Mrs Average Joe can wear them as they go go about their daily
business right? Well yes, as long as that business doesn’t actually mean moving
about much. You see as we pointed out, these masks have inherent flaws in their
design. The manufacturers even state in their marketing guff that if you use
them for snorkelling, which is what they were designed for remember, you cannot
swim with them on or exert yourself too much as you will quickly find that the
design hinders your breathing. That’s right, the Easy-breath suddenly becomes
the very hard-to-breath. So we imagine if you were wearing these things as a
anti-covid mask while walking to work or heaven forbid, running for a bus, you
are likely to end up needing one of those real ventilators that
hospitals have run out of.
Still if you have one of
those masks at the back of the wardrobe and it’s in a colour you like you might
want to put it on, sit yourself down and loose yourself in the 24 hour
television coverage of doom and gloom. But then if you’re staying in doing
nothing, why do you need a mask at all?
For more in-depth info on
why we dislike these masks read our over posts here and here. Or you can read
an excellent critique of them on Scuba Doctor here.
Oh one last thing, We do know the difference between BIPAP, CPAP and Ventilators. And we know that the retrofit is geared towards BIPAP but since the media everywhere are referring to them as ventilators (which shows that a lot of people don't know what they're talking about) we thought we would refer to them in the same way. Now, tongues back out of cheeks please.....