Certification Cards: Sport Diving's Aid to Picking Up Girls

Hey girl, wanna get wet?

Snorkelling is for big girls and sissies. Real men; tough, grab-life-by-the-balls men go SCUBA diving. SCUBA, after all, has loads of equipment. Stuff like valves and regulators and cylinder thingies. You know, the real technical stuff that only tough, black-clad hero types can possibly understand. And of course, you need training; tough, stamina-stretching, mind-challenging training. The sort of training that needs to be delivered by tough, hard trainers who, in another life, would have been NASA pilots or special forces soldiers had they not had flat feet, weren’t scared of the dark and didn't have to take care of their dad's photocopying business. And, once you completed this training for heroes you get certified!

Anyone can snorkel, but only real tough guys are bona fide divers with a plastic laminated id cards to prove it. Right? The idea that being a certified recreational diver makes you some kind of underwater James Bond is, and always has been, complete nonsense. Yet, amongst some sports diving enthusiasts and lets face it, a lot of instructors, the belief still persists. We’ve all met the pub bore whose list of career experiences exceeds the years they’ve actually been alive and they are properly found in all recreational sports but for some reason they seem particularly drawn to the world of SCUBA diving. One reason for this, in our opinion, is the sheer number of “professional diving” courses you can take and subsequently all those lovely laminated cards you can collect. But is the world of badge collecting SCUBA tough guys under threat? For a few years now the world of recreational diving has been dramatically changing, so much so that SCUBA diving has become… well passé. You see nowadays, real adventurous men with their beautiful, adventurous and tough bikini-clad girlfriends now go freediving, which is diving without all the faff – no tanks, no tubes, no regulators, etc. etc.

Imagine how galling it must be for tough guy Brad, to flash his laminated boat diver card like an FBI agent at the sexy blonde sitting at the bar, only to have her raise a perfectly manicured eyebrow and whisper “oh darling, I only date men who can hold their breath for ten minutes" then wink suggestively. All that pool training, all that money spent on buoyancy control devices and plastic laminated cards that certify you as a shore diver, underwater photographer and advanced bubble blower and you can’t even use them to pick up girls anymore. Now before SCUBA fraternities around the world get all hot and bothered and threaten to whip us with their hoses think about it for a minute. Apart from getting an extra luggage allowance from the airline why would you need these ID’s if it’s not to impress girls at bars? Who has ever been stopped by the beach police and asked to prove they’re licenced to use the SCUBA tanks they’re putting on or that they’ve undergone a course of instruction on reading a dive computer? The answer is no one. Ever! More of this later, but let’s get back to those tough guy sports divers getting frustrated at having freedivers stomping all over their macho turf. How are they going to get laid now? Well, if you can’t beat them, join ‘em. The beautiful world of freediving could be yours Brad, you just need err…. some training.

That though is the problem. Who exactly do you go to to get that training? After all there aren’t that many expert freedivers in the world, mainly due to the fact that the majority of the worlds best freedivers tend to kill or maim themselves by… Well freediving.

But that problem seems to have been swept aside, because now, the same people who can teach to you to fall off a boat with style or waddle into the sea from shore or even take a professional underwater holiday snap can now teach you to freedive. Yep the SCUBA diving organisations of the world have spotted the changing trend in recreational diving that threatens to stop bubble blowers picking up girls at bars and are surfing to the rescue.

If there is a something you want to do underwater, the diving organisations probably have a course for it. Which brings us back to the these courses, the ID cards that come with them and the question of how?

Are you certified to do that?

How can there be instructors out there who are qualified to teach SCUBA, photography, videography, cave diving, tech diving, underwater sculpture, deep-sea mountaineering and now freediving as well? All right we made two of those up. But we think you get the point.

Now, if any of you have heard of Malcolm Gladwell, you will know of his 10000-hour theory. Simply put, you need to have carried out 10000 hours of deliberate practice to become an expert. Assuming you did nothing else but practice for eight hours a day, every day, it would still take you almost three and half years to become an expert at something. Something like… Say.... Open water diving. And, assuming you want to be taught by an expert and not some nineteen year-old surfer dude on a gap year, that means the person who’s teaching you to dive from a boat should have many, many years of boat diving experience. If they also taught freediving, underwater photography, tech diving and cave diving as well then they would have spent around seventeen and half years practicing themselves and that’s before they have learnt to teach. All in all, if such an expert instructor existed, and they don’t, then they would have spent the best part of two decades of careful practice before they even met their first student. Possible from a time point of view maybe, but hardly from a financial one. After all, no one moves to Bali to become a diving instructor because they are a raging success in their own country.

Gladwell’s theory does, we agree, tend to fall down a bit since there is such a thing as skill transference and aggregation of experiential learning and it recent times it has come in for some heavy criticism. But it does point at a clear problem in the world of recreational diver training which is that most of it is utter garbage. In fact it is the training organisations themselves that seem to be fueling the Walter Mitty mentality that permeates the sport.

The problem is one of regulation. You cannot get a licence to drive a car without undergoing an independent test and nor can you fly a plane or even parachute out of it without undergoing an examination of your skill by an external assessor. And you can’t be a special forces soldier without undergoing rigorous assessment of your physical and mental capabilities. Yes you can buy the badge and pretend you are one but you’re not and never will be because it’s tough, very tough and the forces weed out those who are not up to standard. Wanting to just use the badge to pick up girls is unlikely to be enough motivation to get you through that sort of course.

In the world of sport diving no such standard exists. The same people who train you are the same people who certify you and in such a self-regulating world the idea that the person who takes your hard earned bucks to train you to dive is at the end of the course going to say “sorry mate, you're crap at this” and refuse to certify you is just ludicrous.

The training organisations are in it for the money and telling their students that the training they’ve just spent their money on has led to nothing is a quick way of going bust or getting sued. Of course if such a standard did exist, if each nation had a law that said an externally assessed sport diving certification was a legal requirement for diving in their jurisdiction then the same organisations would probably get sued to destruction anyway. Would this be a bad thing? We don’t thing so. In such a world, the number and types of course would fall dramatically, training would be globally recognised, organisations would be legally accountable and instructors would be externally assessed yearly to ensure that they really were experts and not just selling cards that you can use to  pick up girls at bars.

I think we're gonna be sick!

This of course will never happen anytime soon since the training organisations would fight tooth and nail to stop their business model going belly up overnight. But maybe one day it will. But for now tough guy SCUBA divers will be able to train to dive without tanks and sexy blondes will still have laminated cards flashed in their faces and endure long lectures at the bar about breath hold techniques ad nauseam.

For the rest of us though, we will still know that most freedivers never underwent any formal training, never paid to get a laminated piece of card and never ever had anyone train them to fall off a boat. We will know that far from being for sissies, snorkelling is still the best route into recreational freediving and spearfishing and it always has been. Remember skin diving anyone? And, we will know that SCUBA diving is full of phony expensive courses, taught by trainers who aren’t experts, designed so that Walter Mitty types have a chance at getting laid.

And for those sexy girls in bars we offer this piece of advice. If you ever meet someone who shows you a freediving certification card, prepare for a long and boring evening of tough guy talk or make your excuses and go find some snorkellers. We don’t have cards that certify we can hold our breath but we do know what to do with a snorkel.

Here’s some links to diver ready. A pretty good YouTube channel where the host outlines some of the utter nonsense that infests the sport diving world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0s-qPErecA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWTmwasCCUY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH43G4HE3VA

And here is one of our other posts about freediving courses.

https://snorkelclub.blogspot.com/2015/11/badges-we-dont-need-no-stinking-badges.html

So What Happened With That Then?

Have you ever been sat down the pub with your mates and started wondering what happened to Bob or Ben or Dave? You know, that bloke who used to be part of the group but no one sees much of him now. Did he ever make it in the world of IT or did he go back to being a Landscape Gardener in Hull? Did he ever get to trek across the Andes or Andorra or wherever it was he was going to trek across? God he went on and on about that didn't he? And of course did the antibiotics ever clear up that embarrassing little itch he had? You know, the thing that made Debbie leave him.... Or was she called Diane?

Anyway today we are going to do a blog version of wondering about whatever happened to Bob and have a look back on some or our posts from the last year or so and ask, did anything ever come of that?

Bethany Farrell

We start on a very serious and very disturbing note. Back in 2015 we wrote a piece about diving safety called Who's Really Looking After You. You can read the original piece here. In that post we discussed three separate incidents where people had died whilst diving. All of the incidents were depressingly sad and should never have happened but one of them stands out for one very good reason. Bethany Farrell had never dived before, ever! She was travelling in Australia and was undertaking an “Introductory Dive” with Wings Diving Adventures. This was supposed to be a chance for her and others like her to experience what SCUBA diving was all about in a safe and controlled way. Bethany didn't get to experience the wonders of SCUBA diving though. Somehow she became separated from the instructor and despite the fact that there were many other divers in the area and observers on boats, Bethany vanished. She was later found on the sea bed and died from drowning. At the time a number of people took to the TripAdvisor website to criticise the way Wings Diving Adventures staff acted during and after the incident. Now, over a year later a UK coroners inquest into that tragedy has recorded a narrative verdict that highlights significant failings in the way the company conducted itself and legal proceedings by the Australian authorities are ongoing. 

Interestingly the instructor at the centre of the incident, Fiona McTavish, has been expelled by PADI however the company itself hasn't. Which begs the question was Fiona McTavish thrown to the wolves as PADI has done before (check this link out if you doubt us) or can we expect that PADI will soon be expelling the company as well? The last few years have not been good for the reputation of the recreational diving industry with deaths, accidents, divers being left in the ocean, sea life being harassed etc and things don't look like they are going to get better anytime soon. PADI for example, has launched its own freediving courses, where people who know nothing about freediving are taught to hold their breath for many, many minutes by people who didn't know anything about freediving themselves a few months ago. Then there is PADI's “Zero to Hero” program, which, apparently, is an accelerated training program which turns complete novices into diving instructors in a matter of months. Oh dear, you really can hear the papers being shuffled in coroners courts everywhere can't you? Is it just us, but does no one in the diving certification business learn lessons at all? 

Now as we said there are still legal proceedings against Wings Diving Adventures (who are still claiming to keep you safe and smiling on their website) underway in Australia so this sad saga still hasn't been concluded and it is worth noting that a coroners court cannot attribute blame to any individual and cannot imply a criminal or civil liability. The Coroner must use the evidence heard to decide who the deceased person was, where they died, when they died, and what the cause of their death was. By expelling Fiona Mctavish from their organisation however, PADI does seem to have made it clear where they think blame lies, but in the end when the legal channels have finally been exhausted, we don't think PADI or the company itself will come out of this looking very good either. In general, Bethany Farrell's death should be more than a wake up call. It should be a bloody great Klaxon sounding in the offices of every diving certification company headquarters everywhere. Every PADI member, every diving centre and company staff member should remember her name. Bethany Farrell was on an “introductory dive” for gods sake. Her death should never have happened and we hope and pray that for once the “lessons learned” will be heeded because this must never happen again.

Riz Smith and those short things

On a lighter note, does anyone remember Riz Smith? Oh come on, Riz Smith (cool name, cool dude), he's the guy who was going to save the oceans by making boardshorts out of plastic. Well, we are pleased to announce that despite our serious doubts (read them here and here) Riz really does seem to have cracked it. At least we think he has, it's difficult to tell. We know Riz is making baordshorts out of plastic but we can't tell if it's the nice clean sort of plastic you get from the bottled water trade or that nasty, dirty plastic you get from the bottled water trade when those bottles have been plucked from the ocean. Confused? Yeah, so are we. Anyway here's what Ali Murrell, who is one of the co-founders of Riz Smith's boardshorty enterprise says:

Our current fabric has been carefully sourced to give us exactly what we need; great feel; quick drying and, importantly, made from 100% recycled polyester, rPET as it is known. rPET is essentially a re-composition of the same plastic (PET) that you find in most clear drinking bottles. Every day, tonnes of bottles are recycled and shipped to Taiwan where our factory then creates the rPET yarn and finally our fabric specification. Whilst it is great that you can recycle bottles into fabric there are still very high percentages of bottles that never make it into recycling programmes, either finding their way to landfill or entering the litter stream, into waterways and ultimately the seas, oceans and beaches. Our aim is to divert and collect these bottles to create our fabric in a fully traceable and circular process and ideally do this closer to home.

Err... Okay Ali, but are you making shorts out of plastic plucked from the sea?

We have always supported the Marine Conservation Society and known for a while that plastic bottles are finding their way to the sea and landing on our beaches in ever increasing numbers, but it dawned on me when I realised that the actual cause of the problem was literally sitting on our doorsteps. Seeing all the plastic litter in and around my neighbourhood in London, knowing where this is likely to end up, made me think that there must be something positive that can be done to reduce and ultimately prevent this situation from getting any worse.

Yes that's great Ali, but are you making shorts out of plastic plucked from the sea?

Initially I thought that it would be the condition of the bottles. It turns out though that this is the least of our issues!  Unfortunately the sea and the tides are fickle things and it is very hard to predict where or when a given beach will be heavily littered or not. We know that the bottles are out there based on the great work of organisations such as the Marine Conservation Society and their litter surveys, but being in the right place at the right time is a real challenge. We have relied on the amazing scores of volunteer groups around the country to help get the project off the ground and they have been so supportive; this does leave us with the challenge of co-ordinating all their efforts into one seamless process. Ultimately we want to design a system that can work on a commercial scale!

Oh for gods sake Ali, please just tell us if you're actually making boardshorts out of plastic plucked from the ocean or is this just a gimmick?

To be fair we have jumbled up Ali's answers and taken them out of context for a bit of fun. However, if anyone can read Ali's Q and A on his websites journal and figure out if Ali, Riz and the other cool surfer dudes are actually making boardshorts out of ocean plastic, can you let us know because we haven't a clue if he is or not....

Sharkwater the sequel

Finally, did anyone read our piece on Sharkwater Extinction?

Sharkwater Extinction is a new project by filmmaker Rob Stewart and is described as “a quest to find 80 million missing sharks, revealing a multi billion-dollar scandal that implicates us all in the greatest wildlife massacre ever known.”

Rob Stewart was funding the project through Kickstarter and we are pleased to say he not only reached his target of $150,000 but surpassed it. You can still support the film by donating via Rob's Kickstarter page. We went for the $175 “thank you” in the credits and we look forward to seeing our clubs name in the film credits next year.

Now then, does anyone remember Bob? Bald bloke, buck teeth! Oh come on, you must remember Bob? He had that embarrassing thing on his wossiname......

The Sport Diver Team Meet Brad And His Pressured Novices.

Mark Evans, if you didn’t know, is the editor of Sport Diver Magazine, the official PADI publication in the U.K and in December's issue he uses his Editor’s letter column to relate some disturbing incidents that he and his team witnessed whilst on a trip to Malta and Gozo. Here are the relevant (verbatim) bits from Mark’s missive.

Our trip was sadly marred by bad weather, namely strong winds which rendered many sites off limits, yet I was shocked that some independent groups of divers were still attempting to get in, or had got in, at sites that experienced centres had deemed unfit. At one location, I saw three well-known centres rock up in their vans; the instructors surveyed the conditions, and then called the dive, heading off to find more-suitable surroundings for their divers. Yet there were a group of obviously fairly inexperienced divers who were being badgered and cajoled by their group leader that “it was fine” and “this is what we are trained for”, Christ, these were pleasure divers, it wasn’t a Special Forces drill!

At another site, I saw a couple who were clearly novices, and they had a bit of a battle getting out of the water due to the swell washing up and down the ironshore. Their instructor was stood up above them on the shoreline helpfully telling them to hurry up but not offering them any assistance!

So please, whether you are diving in Malta and Gozo, right here in the U.K., or anywhere else for that matter, make your own mind up about the conditions and whether you want to dive. Do not feel pressured to get into the water – any instructor or dive leader worth their salt would not make you do anything you didn’t want to do. And remember if you do go in despite your reservations and it all goes horribly pear-shaped, the odds are that the person who ends up in serious trouble will be you, not your instructor. 

 

Hello, we're your dive leaders for today's pleasure trip - lock and load wimps!

Oh Mark, you’ve made us so happy we want to have your children! Finally someone associated with PADI has spotted what we, and many likes us, have been banging on about for what seems an eternity. Namely, that the world of diving is stuffed to the rafters with Brads; those moronic, badge wearing, hyper-egos who equate being a dive team leader/instructor with being a member of an elite commando unit and consequently tend to get people injured or killed due to their habit of being controlled by their testicles and not their brains.  And Mark, we are also delighted that you have brought to a wider audience our own little piece of advice that we have regularly exhorted on these pages, which is: your safety is, at the end of the day, your own responsibility. There are just a couple of things we like to raise however. We are not sure what you mean by “independent groups” but by the way you highlighted this we assume that they were not PADI registered which, again we assume, means that you are trying to distance the PADI organisation from such events. This would be unwise Mark and a little naive. Just take a peek around the web for diving deaths/incidents and you’ll find that, from Australia to Belize, an awful lot of divers who’ve lost their lives were in fact under the care of PADI registered centres/operations. Brad is everywhere Mark, everywhere!

Then there is something that we found rather disappointing, both your advice and our own requires the “novices” to do something that is often quite difficult, which is to challenge the diver leader/instructor. A lot of people Mark, don’t like confrontation and those who are very inexperienced have no reference point, they are being told to do something by someone who is covered in badges and is “supposed” to be experienced and subsequently “knows what they are doing”. Now we, and you Mark, know that isn’t always true but here’s a thing. You Mark are the editor of Sport Diver, you were with the Sport Diver team and yet you didn’t seem able to challenge those independent instructors either! Could you not have intervened Mark? Could you not have wandered over with your cohorts, flashed your own badges and told those novices that they didn’t have to do anything they didn’t want to? Because Mark, it is a very bad thing for those who are supposed to be the experts to lead those without experience into dangerous situations but it is just as bad, if not worse, for those who are experienced, those who realise that it is just a pleasure dive and not a Special Forces Drill as you say, to just stand there on the sidelines like a bunch of gormless rubberneckers at the scene of a car crash. We would have challenged Mark, we would have said something; in fact we would have ridiculed the instructor mercilessly and deflated their ego very quickly. We hope the next time you see something similar that you and all the other experienced divers out there will do the same. Because in truth Mark, the safety of novice divers is not just the instructors’ responsibility it’s everyone’s responsibility. So next time, don’t just stand there thinking this will make a good few column inches Mark - do something!

Badges! We don’t Need No Stinking Badges. PADI Launches Freediving Courses

Do you want to be a freediver? Perhaps the thought of descending to depths of 100 metres or more on a single breath gets you all excited. Perhaps you’re a mainstream diver who’s tired of strapping on all that equipment every time you go in the water, tired of scaring away all that marine life with your bubbles and Darth Vader breathing noises. Or perhaps, the thought of having to spend another small fortune to buy another piece of unnecessary “technical” kit just to keep up with the diving Jones’ has finally got to you. Maybe you’re a new age, mystical sort of person who adopts the lotus position whenever you can and believes freediving could help you get closer to nature, to balance your life, to free your mind whilst you free your body of oxygen. Altogether now.. Ohmmm. Perhaps you’re the sort who’s looking for a new challenge and the thought of pushing your body to very edge of it’s physiological capabilities in search of competitive glory is the very thing, or perhaps you just fancy Tanya Streeter and want to see her in that bikini close up. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re the sort of person who just thinks that being able to descend to twenty-metres for a few minutes at a time unencumbered by tanks, regulators, and people called Brad would be a bit of fun when you go on holiday. Now, whichever category you fall into, you’re probably thinking to yourself that you should get some training before you take the plunge so to speak. Freediving, after all, is rather dangerous and at its competitive zenith it can be positively fatal but where do you get that training?

What a reason to Freedive!

Luckily there are a multitude of training organisations out there ready to teach you to stop breathing in exchange for cash and in this very month, PADI is launching its own freediving courses. The course tiers will be PADI freediver, PADI advanced freediver and PADI master freediver. There will also be several grades of instructor, freediver instructor, advanced freediver instructor, master freediver instructor and finally freediver instructor trainer. A basic freediver course will also be included which, according to PADI, will prepare swimmers for freediving in “confined water”.

When we first heard that PADI was going to launch it’s own freediving courses our little group immediately thought of the Mel Brooks film Blazing Saddles and one scene in particular where the Mexican bandits refuse to be deputised by the films villain. Offered the deputy sheriffs badge, the moustachioed brigands reply with heavy accents: “Badgeez! We don’t neeeed no steenkin' badgeez! PADI likes badges and judging by the bewildering array of tiers they’ve developed they’re going to have a lot of badges to sell wannabe freedivers. This is probably being a bit unfair on PADI, as we say there are a whole host of companies, associations and operators out there offering freediving training and all of them have structured tiers of training with equally ludicrous titles and there is currently nothing to suggest that PADI’s courses will be any better or any worse than those already available.

With so many training organisations out there then, which one should you chose? Well before you hand over your hard earned cash in exchange for a few days training and a badge that can be eventually sewn onto your bodybag we’d like to offer you some humble advice.  Before you do anything you need to speak to an independent expert – your doctor. Tell him or her that you want to learn to freedive and this means holding your breath for long periods. If your doctor suggests you should probably stop smoking first or that your morbid obesity, diabetes, incompetent heart valve, that pacemaker you’ve just had fitted or the fact you cannot swim makes you singularly unsuitable for freediving we think you should probably stick to a little light gardening. If however your doctor can find no medical reason why you shouldn’t go freediving we suggest you go and have a look at the freediving clubs in your area. Clubs are a great way to meet like-minded people and get a feel of the experience and quality of the available training. The club may well have their own instructors or be able to direct you to instructors they’ve used before. Speak to the instructor face-to-face, find out how they trained, what their experience is. This will give you a sense for the depth and quality of the training they offer. There are many experienced divers out there, but just because they are experienced doesn’t mean they can teach. We’ve met a lot of divers with instructor badges sewn onto their baseball caps and some of them are, to be blunt, damn idiots. So finding an instructor that can teach and that you trust is imperative. You are, after all, putting your life in their hands.

Make sure that the company/club that is training you is freediving based. What we mean by this is that the company or club was established and run by freedivers. A good example of this is Freediving Instructors International or Performance Freediving, which were established by Martin Stepanek and Kirk Krack respectively. Check that the courses on offer have an AIDA equivalent. AIDA is the international freediving umbrella organisation for competitive freediving. We also suggest that you speak to or join your countries national freediving association who will be able to offer advice and guidance on training, clubs, competitions etc. Finally remember that a couple of days training does not mean you are an expert. Freediving is a competitive sport, SCUBA diving is a recreational sport and there is a big difference in the type of training and type of people you will come across. That doesn’t mean that you cannot be a recreational freediver but it does mean that you have to really understand your own limits. Don’t be pressed or bullied into pushing those limits by others who are overly competitive or talk nonsense about “mystical experiences” and in freediving you will meet these people. Freediving is, by its nature, inherently dangerous so start by enjoying yourself and build slowly, very slowly, or you will kill yourself. Finally, remember that the training you undertake should be about knowledge gathering. It should equip the mind and body to deal with the demands of the sport, it’s not and never should be about collecting badges. As those Mexicans in the film said: Badges! We don’t need no stinking badges – even if they’ve got the word “master” on them. 

Diving Safety

Diving Safety – Who's Really Looking After You?

Imagine you are new to the world of diving. You’ve recently completed your week-long diving course and are looking forward to your first real diving holiday. You may be green behind the ears but what’s to worry about? After all, every diving magazine and website is full of advertisements for dive charters and centres who claim that safety, your safety, is their paramount concern. All you have to do is book up, pay up and in a few months time you could be in a tropical paradise, preparing for an underwater adventure, safe in the knowledge that the dive company you’re using has taken care of all those niggling little safety issues. Of course if that’s the case, the spate of recent diving accidents hitting the headlines might just be setting off a few alarm bells in your head. In fact it would be fair to say that the last few months news coverage has been woefully bad for the sports credibility when it comes to safety. To illustrate this let us take you through a few incidents that, in our opinion, paint a worrying picture for any of you interested in taking up the sport. 

A recent coroner’s inquest into the death of Melanie Stoddart, who died whilst on a diving holiday in the Maldives in 2012, has highlighted some disturbing issues with the emergency procedures in place on the Islands.

The inquest in Chesterfield, Derbyshire, heard how Miss Stoddart, an experienced diver from Greater Manchester, had arrived in the Maldives on April 2012 with her boyfriend. She had been on the same holiday the previous year. On the third day of her organised trip, she was in a party of 12 holidaymakers and two instructors who went to Vaavu Atoll for the last scuba dive of the day just after 3pm. This was her third dive of the day. The inquest was told she returned to the surface after about 30 minutes and asked for medical assistance, as she was feeling unwell. Doctors were called and she was taken to the Alimatha Aquatic Resort nearby. When it became clear her condition was deteriorating the resort's doctor said she needed to be taken to a decompression chamber, but there was no transport available. A speedboat only arrived from neighbouring Bandos Island, more than 40 miles away, when insurance checks had been carried out. A doctor sedated Ms Stoddart, but decided she was not stable enough to be put in a decompression chamber. She was then transferred for a second time by boat six miles to the capital where CT scans of her head and chest were taken at the ADK Hospital.  But at 2.15am the next morning she went into cardiac arrest and died thirty minutes later. 

Peter Stoddart told the court his daughter was a qualified diving instructor and member of a club who had dived all over the world. He said the family had tried for many months to establish exactly what had happened in the hours before Miss Stoddart passed away. They spotted "discrepancies" in the reports from police and the tour company Scuba Tours Worldwide that raised serious questions about the safety procedures in place on that fateful afternoon.

 

Recording a narrative verdict, coroner Paul McCandless said: 'Melanie was a practiced and experienced sea diver who took unwell on a dive. Due to a lack of appropriate transport at that time of day there was a delay in taking her to an appropriate facility.

'Once there, there was a partial misdiagnosis that she was not suffering from decompression sickness. It is possible that if her condition had been diagnosed sooner that she would not have died when she did.' The Coroner added: 'Holidaymakers need to be aware of what emergency procedures are in place should any particular difficulties arise.' 

After the hearing, Melanie's mother Irene, said: 'My daughter's death was down to sheer incompetence. She received no treatment for nine hours, how can that be right?'

A full report is here

Then there is the case of American citizen Roger Pieper, who died whilst diving the Blue Hole in Belize this year. The Blue Hole is a notorious dive spot and has regularly claimed the lives of divers. Once again however there are troubling contradictions and discrepancies in the witness statements.

The official police report by the Belize City Police Department, states that Pieper, a retired pilot from Texas, along with his family, employed Amigos Del Mar Dive Center  for a dive trip to the Blue Hole. The group arrived at the Blue Hole and proceeded to dive. At about 50 feet below the surface, Pieper started to experience complications and alerted the dive crew. By the time Pieper was brought to the surface he had already fallen unconscious. The Belize Coast Guard was contacted to transport Pieper to the Karl Huesner Memorial Hospital in Belize City. Pieper was pronounced dead on arrival. A post mortem examination certified the cause of death as asphyxia due to drowning. 

The initial incident reports taken by the San Pedro police were comprised of statements issued by Amigos Del Mar employees. According to the report the crew had learned that Pieper had undergone triple bypass surgery last year as he suffered from heart problems. They also indicated that his condition was not reported to the dive company prior to the dive since persons suffering from heart conditions are not allowed to dive. Reports from the family however dispute this, saying that: as a First Class Pilot, Pieper suffered from no medical conditions and was in optimal health. The dive centre in question, Amigo’s Del Mar was expelled from the PADI diving organisation in 2014. Although the reasons for the expulsion are not clear, the dive centre had been embroiled in a case of sexual assault prior to the PADI expulsion. A police investigation into the death of Roger Pieper is ongoing and serious questions remain about what exactly happened and why there are contrary statements as to Mr Pieper’s medical condition prior to diving. Although expelled from PADI the dive centre is still affiliated to a number of other diving organisations.

The full report is here
PADI Expulsion
Amigo's Del Mar’s response to the sexual assault allegations

Finally there is the truly distressing case of Bethany Farrell. In February of this year Bethany was taking part in a try-dive on the Great Barrier Reef. Bethany had been snorkelling before but had never dived before. It is reported that Bethany and two other students were to be guided by an instructor on the dive. However one of the other students refused to dive, though the exact reason as to why they refused is not known. This left the instructor with Bethany and one other novice. At some point during the dive, the instructor lost sight of Bethany and could not locate her. Bethany was later found at a depth of 11 metres. A post mortem determined the cause of death as drowning. Following the tragedy, two people who were on board the dive boat at the time took to Trip Advisor to question the dive operator’s actions during and after the incident. Including making the claim that photos were deleted. Bethany’s father, Patrick Farrell, said the loss of photographs was incomprehensible.
“There is no excuse,’’ Mr Farrell told the Courier Mail. “Grave mistakes have been made. Ultimately her life was in their hands. Now she’s dead.

“NEVER TRAVEL WITH WINGS DIVING ADVENTURES!!!”

I had a very negative experience with Wings Diving Adventures in mid February. One of the girls on the boat had a horrible, horrible scuba dive accident after being separated from her instructor. While they were looking for her, the other divers on the boat were locked into the kitchen area for 3 and a half hours, and not once did one of the crew members come to speak to us about what was wrong. Not a single sentence. We were all scared and confused and I was feeling very crammed and getting a bit claustrophobic by the end. I understand that this was a major accident, and the crew was panicking, but it was COMPLETELY unprofessional to leave us down there.

The girl who had the accident was found dead, and what's worst is that I now know that they deleted all of the pictures that had been taken on the boat before they could give it to the girl's family or police.

“We lost our friend on this boat”

What was supposed to be a dream trip turned into the worst possible nightmare. We will not go into detail about what happened but we would like to address the way the crew dealt with the situation.

All passengers were locked in downstairs without being told what had happened, including myself and my friend, when we were directly involved.
The full reviews can be found here
  
So what should we make of these reports from three separate locations around the world? In truth we’re not sure. We know full well that there are a multitude of reputable, experienced and highly professional operators out there. But that doesn’t really help does it? After all how do you tell the good from the bad? Melanie Stoddart was a trained diving instructor herself and the Coroner noted that she had signed on with a reputable company, yet can anyone honestly say that the procedures in place for dealing with a suspected case of decompression sickness were adequate? And what of Roger Pieper? Again he was an experienced diver and yet again questions remain over events and the dive operators response. And finally there is Bethany Farrell, who was simply taking part in a try-out dive. How does a complete diving novice get separated from the person who was supposed to be taking care of her? Why did the other student refuse to dive? Why did the crew lock other passengers in the Galley? And why did staff apparently delete all the photographs they had taken?

Those who have read our other posts will know that we are not exactly big on Health and Safety. We’ve always maintained that your personal safety is your own responsibility. We say this because we tend to find that Health and Safety procedures really are nothing more than a tick-box exercise. Stick up a few procedures on the back of the toilet door, have a quick ten minute brief, stick a diver down flag in the water and away you go, all boxes ticked and everyone’s safe right?

When we go in the water to do some of the silly stuff we do, it’s on our own responsibility. We don’t expect anyone to come to our aid and we plan for that accordingly. But importantly we do not ask people to pay us money to take them snorkelling; we don’t run a diving business either.

Finally there is something that we’ve been banging on about for ages, which is our belief that a certain type of diving instructor is infesting the world of sport diving, a type that we call Brad. Brad equates being a diving instructor to being an SAS soldier, which of course it isn’t. Brad doesn’t understand that being an instructor is about educating others, it’s about imparting knowledge and more importantly imparting experience but then Brad is barely out of his twenties, wears camouflage clothing with lots of “Dive Master” badges or other such silly emblems sewn on and of course has very little experience.

So lets go back to our newly trained diver planning that trip of a lifetime what should they do? Who should they give their money to? How do they spot the good operators from the cowboys? How they differentiate between Brad, who wears all the same badges and has all the same affiliations to diving organisations as the good instructors? We really don’t know the answer to this but we think the world of sport diving, particularly the diving organisations, need to seriously start looking for one. Diving charters and companies around the world are asking divers of all abilities to put their trust in them, to put their very lives in their hands. But as these incidents show, we’re not sure that’s something anyone should do.  

Sport Diving Needs A Hero: It Ain't You Brad

In the editors letter in the March edition of Sport Diver (the official publication of the PADI diving association in the UK), the editor, Mark Evans, reflects on the sad death of the “First Lady of Diving” Lotte Haas in January of this year and asks: where are all the new diving heroes? 

Mark Evans writes: Lotte, together with her husband Hans, pioneered scuba diving adventures on the silver screen in the 1950’s and along with charismatic Frenchman Jacques-Yves Cousteau, were responsible for getting entire generations actively involved in our sport by bringing a whole new world to an excited audience. Mark goes on to say: We desperately need modern day heroes’ of this calibre to bring the underwater world to the masses.  

Mark highlights that there are the likes of Steve Backshall, Miranda Krestovnikoff and Monty halls (and before you ask, we don’t know either), who are all doing their bit to raise the profile of diving through more-mainstream channels, but the likes of Lotte, Hans and Cousteau were mega-stars of their time whose appeal spanned the globe and captured the attention of young and old alike.

Mark then makes a final appeal: going forward, we also need Hollywood to splash diving all the cinemas again, but in a positive, engaging and exciting fashion – no more Open Water rubbish thank you!

Mark’s lament, first got us raising our glasses in a last tribute to the late, great and gorgeous Lotte Haas and then putting them down again as we ruminated on his words. Is he right? Does diving lack modern heroes? And if so, why?

Lotte Haas

Our first thought was, that to a degree, Mark has answered his own question. Lotte, Hans, Jacques-Yves Cousteau et al, were exactly what he said they were: pioneers. They broke new ground, they invented and then developed their own equipment, they often risked their lives and like others of their ilk (Ron and Valerie Taylor anyone?) they brought the diving world to a whole new audience. They were definitely heroes, but more to the point they were heroes of their time. In the fifties and sixties the ability to travel to exotic locations and then plunge into the azure ocean in search of adventure were limited to a wealthy few. Back in the 1950’s, World War Two was still a deep, dark scar on the world. In Britain for example, a holiday adventure in 1950 was little more than a camping trip to a damp field in Cornwall or a dreary weekend in a rainy seaside town – grandparents included. Diving back then was something few people outside of the Navy had ever even heard of and even if they had, we bet they had very little money to squander on unproven diving equipment and, as often as not, unproven airlines. The underwater adventures of Lotte Haas were therefore pure escapism, something that captured your imagination in the local cinema rather than something you got involved with on your local beach. Nowadays of course, anyone with a passport and a few pounds in their pocket can pop on a plane and in less than a working day be walking barefoot on an idyllic sandy beach. The escapist world of Lotte and Hans is no longer something that you can only dream about on a wet night in Scunthorpe, but something you can actually do yourself. The world of diving is now, more than ever, open to far more than any of the early pioneers could have imagined. Perhaps, though, that is part of the problem. If every paradise isle is jammed packed with divers, all doing exactly the same thing, with exactly the same GoPro camera, where is the originality? To be a pioneer you have to do something that someone else hasn’t done before.

Then we thought about Mark’s plea to Hollywood: We also need Hollywood to splash diving all over the cinemas again, but in a positive, engaging and exciting fashion.

So Mark wants Hollywood to make a film all about diving, but not one that shows any of the inherent dangers of going into an environment that evolution has singularly made you unsuitable for. Instead he wants Hollywood to make a film that is inspiring, engaging, exciting and well, just bloody jaw-dropping tremendous, that even the most aqua-phobic among us will dive head first into the sea at the first opportunity. No sharks though, we can’t stress that too much, there must definitely be no sharks, and absolutely no moray eels hiding in crevices. So no remakes of Jaws, The Deep, Open Water, Deep Blue Sea, or any of these films that Diver Magazine (the North American Publication) calls the best diving movies of all time.

Mark, it seems, has a very different opinion about what makes a film engaging or exciting from the rest of us and we suspect doesn’t understand that Hollywood makes films in order to make money, not to support the diving industry but that aside, there is a fundamental problem with such an appeal – it requires someone else to do something! That’s not particularly pioneering Mark!

The old version of GoPro lacked portability

Can you imagine Lotte and Hans or Jacques or Valerie or Ron or even Monty Halls (and no we still don’t know who he is) sitting around and wondering when someone else is going to film all the stuff they were doing? No of course you can’t, pioneers don’t wait for other people to do things they get on with it, that’s what being a pioneer is all about and a quick perusal of the list in the Women Divers Hall of Fame, shows that there seems to be a great deal of women doing exactly that.

So what’s going on here? Diving has had it’s pioneers, it has had it’s movies so why does Mark Evans think that the it still needs someone of high calibre to bring the sport to a whole new audience? Then we thought about our own early diving experiences and why we prefer snorkelling and we had an answer. It’s all down to Brad.

You see our sport has many advantages over diving. You don’t need a lot of expensive equipment. You don’t need to join PADI or BSAC. You don’t need to know how to correctly spell Cousteau and more importantly, and this is the crux of the matter, you don’t have to spend time with Brad. 

The diving world is full of Brads; you meet them in every dive shop, every dive operation and dive club around the world. Brad of course comes in different shapes and sizes but the Brad species all have one thing in common – he has an unbelievably over-inflated opinion of himself. You would think that you might be able to avoid an encounter with Brad but you would be wrong. The diving world it seems, insists that anyone’s first foray into the sport must begin with a meeting with Brad. Yep, Brad is your diving instructor and he is adamant that he is going to make you look a complete berk while he teaches you the basics of diving in a hotel swimming pool. Of course Brad doesn’t normally teach people to dive, as he will explain ad nauseam. Brad’s real job (the one he’s taking a break from in order to train you hapless tourists ‘not to kill yourself out there’ in the deep blue) is a fighter pilot or a Navy commando or mine clearance expert or, and this is becoming more prevalent in Braddy world, a Green peace defender of the earth. Yep Brad is taking a year off from all the stress of being a Top Gun, storming beaches, disarming mines with toothpicks and smuggling whales out of Japan in his board shorts, just to make sure you know the difference between a fin and a flipper. Flipper is a dolphin according to Brad. According to the rest of the world, Flipper is a fictional character in a TV series portrayed by a variety of Cetaceans’ or those things that you put on your feet that helps propel you through the water. Brad is the antithesis of all that Mark Evans wants. Far from being engaging, charismatic, exciting and likeable; Brad is annoying, obnoxious and soooooo boring that most people who encounter him and his egocentric ilk are deterred from ever getting involved in diving again. So Mark Evans is wrong when he laments the lack of modern diving heroes. You see, the real legacy of Lotte Haas and the legends of her time is that diving no longer needs a modern hero or a Hollywood blockbuster to bring the sport to the masses – that’s already been done! What the sport of diving needs is to stop Brad and his gormless, mind-numbingly dull brethren ruining that legacy for millions.

An afterthought. Several beers later, we suddenly realised that there are no real snorkelling heroes – apart from The Dangerous Snorkelling Club of course. Then we found this picture of Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson. He may be fat, have bad teeth and be offensive to Argentinians and Mexicans but we’d rather have a beer with him than Brad. Cheers Jezza and very a big cheers to you Lotte – the underwater world, has indeed, lost a heroine.

 

Who are you looking at Brad?