The Road To Papagayo: A Quick Guide To Southern Lanzarote

 

Lanzarote shows off its distinct browness

It's Lanzagrotty! Hordes of uncouth, sunburnt tourists, herd from beach to tacky bar and back again. Second rate cocktail lounges vie for tourist dollars with Karaoke bars, bad restaurants and fast food outlets. Seedy hotels with their cockroach ridden rooms and algae infested swimming pools litter the seafront. During the day the resorts swelter under a miasma of heat and rotten seaweed whilst at night the air is tinged with the stench of sweat, cheap perfume and vomit. Ah yes, if you're a hormonal teenager with galloping acne who's out to get drunk fast, copulate with whatever member of the opposite sex hasn't started vomiting yet and then sleep off the excesses of the night on the beach then Lanzarote is the place for you. Except of course it's not. The idea of Lanzarote being a grotty little island full to bursting with the sort of people you'd move house to avoid being near is as far from the truth as a conspiracy theorist's rants about the moon landings.

Yes there are still some tacky areas, mainly in Playa Blanca, but on the whole Lanzarote has picked itself up from the sawdust strewn floor of mass tourism, dusted itself down, shuck two fingers in the air to teenage hormones and sauntered off toward the promised land of five star hotels, swanky marinas and fashion boutiques. Yep, Lanzarote has gone upmarket. 

So if it's not sun, sea, sex and dysentery infused burgers anymore, what can a visitor to the Island now expect? We stayed in the South and due to the short duration of our trip we were unable to venture any further so we will be concentrating on this part of the Island. Beside its year long sunshine and distinct lack of rainfall Lanzarote has one other all encompassing feature, it's brown. Really, really brown. In fact, if you got a minute, it's a dreary, dusty, sewage like brown that brings to mind what a post apocalyptic world might look like. In short it is bloody ugly. Which of course was one of the other reasons the island was called grotty in the first place. Still, even the most ugly of places have redeeming features and if you're the type of person who finds post apocalyptic landscapes somewhat attractive then these redeeming features of castles, museums, craft shops and wild west themed parks will be a bonus. If you're not the sort of person that finds barren, windswept vistas, remotely attractive and think castles, museums and Spanish men dressing up like cowboys a little dull then there is always the beaches. Lanzarote has one hundred of them and most are of the golden sand variety. 

 

Sunset in Puerto Marina Rubicon

The main resort in the South is Playa Blanca. A hot-potch of bars, shops and hotels that still hanker back to the Islands less salubrious past although things are definitely improving. Not far along the coast is the more upmarket Puerto Marina Rubicon. This is a glitzy little region that has fashion boutiques, high-class restaurants that overlook the expensive yachts in the marina and the rather nice Bar One, a sort of yacht owners come SCUBA divers drinking establishment situated right at the end of the Marina. Puerto Marina Rubicon plays hosts to Jason deCaires Taylor's Atlantic Museum workshop and the underwater museum itself is but a short boat trip away. The marina is also home to a large dive centre, located next to Bar One, which caters rather nicely for the needs of the average bubble blower. Then there are all the other sporty outlets and clubs that cater for sea anglers, kayakers, sailing enthusiasts and hikers. But since we are none of them let's get to the point, what is the snorkelling like?

Castille de Colarados where the walk to Papagayo starts

In the south of the island there are two places to dip your head beneath the waters. The first is the marine reserve around Papagayo Beach. Papagayo is situated in a national park and can be reached by foot or car. The drive is less than twenty minutes from the centre of Puerto Marina Rubicon but be aware that as you reach the outskirts of the national park the smooth road gives way to the sort of rock strewn dirt track that brings a smile to face of dodgy car hire salesmen everywhere. So make sure your car hire insurance covers tyres, windscreen and underside of the vehicle or you'll be facing a very unexpected and very expensive bill when you hand the car back. If you fancy walking to Papagayo, follow the promenade path that starts at Castille de Colorados. The path circumnavigates the Sandos Beach resort hotel to avoid a steep climb at the end of the beach (check out this site for specific directions) and depending on your fitness levels can take anything from 30 minutes to one and a half hours.

Papagayo Beach

Papagayo is the fourth beach along the coast and nestles between two headlands. Just before you reach Papagayo there is a small pebble beach located beneath the cafe on the hill. This tiny beach is a little difficult to reach - requiring some basic climbing - but if you do endeavour to reach it, you'll find the perfect, isolated location to launch your snorkelling adventure from. Further back along the coast path, before you reach the cafe, you'll find another small cove. This cove is much easier to reach and has pristine sand but be aware, due to its ease of access yet sense of isolation from the main beaches, this small sandy cove does attract the au naturel crowd. And let's be honest, there is nothing more disturbing for people who like to get their dangly bits out than a snorkeller popping up unexpectedly, and there is nothing more disturbing for a snorkeller than suddenly finding dangly bits, swinging to-and-fro in front of your mask. 

The pebble beach below the cafe

The marine life at Papagayo is large and varied and if you know where to look you can come across some interesting specimens. As a rule it is best to arrive early as marine life tends to disappear as the water warms and the hordes of tourists start frolicking and splashing about in the water. Also try to avoid the habit of less seasoned snorkellers and hang around looking at sandy bottoms (and no that's not an euphemism) and instead head into the rocks where the sea life is more abundant. If you do this, then along with the usual suspects such as mullet, bream, wrasse and damselfish, you'll also encounter lizard fish and blennies lurking among the rocky crags. Bright orange cardinal fish can be found sheltering beneath overhangs and starfish, wide-eyed flounders, urchins and sponges litter the sea floor. Head further from shore and you'll find squadrons of needlefish menacing silver bogue that cluster together in giant swirling balls for protection. If you're very lucky you might even catch a glimpse of a barracuda, stingray or turtle. 

 

Shoaling Bogue

A predatory needlefish

A Rough Tail Stingray sweeps along the sand

The second place is really for the more adventurous and consists of a secretive little pebble beach opposite the Castille de Colorados in Puerto Marina Rubicon itself. The beach is a short walk from the Atlantic Museum workshop and is reached by a tricky path that is not recommended for the less nimble. Once at the bottom you'll find a perfect rocky shoreline that is filled to the brim with marine life. A word of warning though, if you are leaving anything on the beach, make sure you leave it as far back against the cliff face as possible, as the tide here comes in far and fast. And don't think that just because the pebbles are dry the sea won't cover them at some point. The Lanzarote sun is hot and pebbles dry quickly but that doesn't mean they won't get wet again when you're in the water – we know, our backpacks got well and truly soaked.

The secret beach below Castille de Colorados

If you are thinking of visiting this part of Lanzarote, we recommend that you avoid Playa Blanca and stay in or around Puerto Marina Rubicon instead. The restaurants are better, the vibe is nicer and there are no tacky “ye olde Irish bars”. If eating out (and again that is not an euphemism) head for the blue painted Taverna located in the centre of the marina. Here you'll be served a great selection of tapas. The beef stew we tried was excellent as was the ubiquitous patatas bravas. Wash down all those olive oil soaked titbits with a pint of cold beer or do as the Spanish do and ask for a glass of tinto de verano. Basically red wine, soda and sparkling orange. A sort of poor man's sangria and yet incredibly moorish.

Once you've sated your appetite, head over to Bar One for a few more cold ones or perhaps a few large rums (they have a fairly large selection of rums) and while away the small hours by poking fun at those bubble blowers who paid good money to see lumps of sunken concrete in Jason deCaires Taylor's Atlantic Museum.

Okay it's very pink and empty but don't let that put you off visiting Bar One

If you are able to stay longer than a few days then we recommend that you try to visit the Timanfaya National Park, the Island of La Graciosa in the north, the capital Arrecife, the Laguna de Janubio, the famous Cactus Gardens and of course the César Manrique Foundation (if you don't know who César Manrique is then you really should find out, to help you out with this why not visit this website).

There really is so much to do in Lanzarote that one trip, even a long one, is not enough and we will definitely be heading back soon. As for the idea that this spectacular island, with it's picturesque white-washed buildings and superb snorkelling, is a nasty, grotty little hole. Well, that's as preposterous an idea as Jason deCaires Taylor suggesting that by sinking concrete statues in twenty feet of water he is highlighting the plight of refugees. Err.... right. That said we do have to mention once again that the scenery in Lanzarote is very rugged and very, very, very brown! So brown in fact, it will probably delight corduroy wearing geography teachers everywhere. But then what do you care, you're only here for the snorkelling.

 

Something slimy slides across the rocks

Please Show Your Tickets Before Entering The Ocean And Don't Forget To Visit The Gift Shop On Your Way Out

Not that long ago we wrote a little piece about the new underwater museum being constructed in Playa Blanca, Lanzarote. The Atlantic Museum is the work of British Artist, Jason deCaires Taylor. Jason is a former theatre set designer, sometime Paparazzi photographer and scuba diver, who hit on the idea of sinking statues in the ocean for other bubble blowers to look at. Now we had some problems with the whole idea and you can read about them in the original post here.

To summarise, we disagree with the idea of dumping statues into the sea. In fact we disagree with the whole notion of creating man-made diving sites by deliberately sinking ships, dumping cars or giant concrete blocks into the ocean altogether. Yes, we understand the argument around eco-tourism, marine conservation and creating sites to draw bubble blowers away from fragile reefs etc. But understanding the argument is one thing, agreeing with the solution that Jason deCaires Taylor and others have come up with is quite another.

For one thing, as we stated in the original post, the creation of these arty installations come at a cost and that cost must be recouped. This means there has to be a charge for anyone wishing to view them. Then of course, once the costs have been recouped, someone, possibly Jason, will want to make a profit. This means the charge will be indefinite and will probably rise year on year. But how do you charge someone for going in the ocean? The installation at Playa Blanca, is not that far from the shore and it would be quite easy for divers, freedivers and snorkellers to reach the location by swimming from the beach. The answer they have come up with at Lanzarote is to create an exclusion zone around the installation. An exclusion zone patrolled by a dedicated security boat. And before anyone comes up with the ludicrous idea that the boat is there to stop the statues being stolen... We'd like to point out that Jason's workshop on the island has an easily accessible yard where the statues are created and stored prior to being sunk into the sea. This yard has no security! So if they were worried about the statues being stolen, this would be the place that you'd think security would be needed. No. The security is there to stop people who haven't paid getting into the site. The ocean ladies and gentleman has effectively been privatised for profit. And as we pointed out before, it won't be long before someone, somewhere gets the idea that if they can charge for viewing one section of the ocean they might be able to charge for all of it. Want to dive from the beach? That'll be 10 Euros please. Going for a snorkel? That'll be 7 Euros. Just fancy a paddle in the sea? Sorry but there is a beach usage charge I am afraid – 5 Euros. And you won't be able to complain either as the charge will be wrapped up nicely with eco-tourism paper and tied with a nice conservation bow – various colours are available. And who can argue with that? Conservation costs you know?

The museum exclusion zone and security boat

Then there is the preposterous assertion that the statues might in some way highlight the plight of refugees, dolphins or society's attitude to global warming. Such assertions go beyond being pretentious and are quite simply absurd arty nonsense. No tourist, diver, snorkeller or even Easybreath Mask wearer is so dumb that they cannot understand the news and can only gain understanding by viewing grey concrete representations of the issues facing the world that have been sunk in the oceans... Alright, maybe Easybreath Mask wearers might be that dumb but the rest of us aren't.

The fact is that such installations are deeply distressing. If you are the type of diver, snorkeller or general tourist who thinks that glaring at concrete sculptures in twelve metres of bluish water is a wonderful experience that satisfies your combined need for conservation, artistic culture and current affairs then the Underwater Museum of Jason deCaires Taylor will be right up your alley. And you won't mind paying for the privilege either because as the saying goes, a fool and his money is easily parted. If on the other hand, you would rather spend your precious underwater time observing the brilliant, amazingly diverse, natural wonders of the ocean (and are capable of understanding news and TV reports about global issues without the assistance of a mime artist, painter or even sculptor giving you a representation) then we suggest that you give these underwater eyesores a miss. Just remember though, that it won't be too long before the money men start casting their gaze towards you. The idea of the ocean being a free and wondrous environment for all may just have had its day and how depressing is that?

One last thing. According to the International Council of Museums, a museum is defined as: A non-profit, permanent institution in the service of society and its development, open to the public, which acquires, conserves, researches, communicates and exhibits the tangible and intangible heritage of humanity and its environment for the purposes of education, study and enjoyment.

We don't think that Jason deCaires Taylor's Atlantic Museum in Playa Blanca, meets that definition. So probably shouldn't call itself a museum then. A better title would be underwater art exhibition. 

The bodies pile up in Jason's very accessible yard

 

Underwater Museums: Art Installation, Environmental Project, Indictment Of Diving Tourism Or Something More Taxing?

Jason deCaires Taylor, a former theatre set designer, paparazzi photographer and diving instructor, has been very busy in the last few years sinking statues in various oceans and writing a book about it. Jason's underwater installations can be seen in Grenada, Cancun in Mexico, Nassau in the Bahamas and now a new installation has opened in Playa Blanca, Lanzarote and a lot of people have become very excited about this. Blogs, the diving press and the mainstream media have all dedicated a great many column inches to Jason's work. Artistic types with slicked grey hair, thin glasses and effeminate mannerisms have waxed lyrical about how Jason's works express everything from slavery and the plight of refugees to mankind's apathy towards global warming. Ecology minded types, on the other hand, have upped the lyrical waxing by pointing out that Jason's installations use marine friendly concrete and promote coral growth – in short Jason is creating artificial coral reefs and increasing marine biomass. Others, those with a more financially tuned mind, have seen the opportunity to boost tourism to their part of the world with the unique selling point of an underwater art exhibition. The new installation in Lanzarote is being hailed as Europe's first underwater Museum, which is a bit odd because Turkey apparently opened up Europe's first underwater museum last year. 

Anyway that argument aside the whole idea of underwater museums sounds very laudable doesn't it? After all, what's there to dislike? Jason deCaires Taylor gets to show off his works and presumably gets some cash or at least increases his book sales. Environmentalists get to showcase both the plight of coral reefs and the possible solution, locals get to benefit from another tourist attraction and divers get to fin about in a new and interesting environment. Everyone is a winner then. Well, we're not sure on that. In fact we're a little worried about the whole thing. 

 

So let's drill down a bit. Firstly we're not interested in whether Jason's works have artistic merit. Art, like beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder, if you think it's art then it is. Nor are we remotely bothered about Jason using his works to highlight world issues. Although we would point out that Jason would have to have an ego the size of Mount Everest if he thought that sinking a concrete raft full of concrete statutes, in 12 metres of sea water, in the middle of the Atlantic ocean would bring the plight of refugees to the attention of the masses more than say; the entire worlds media that's been collectively filming it, writing about it and photographing it on a daily basis. Jason is British by the way, so he can't possibly have that big an ego could he? 

What we are a little unsure about is this: the original reason for the creation of these museums was not really to create a new coral reef. Sink a ship, a car or even a pile of concrete blocks and eventually they will be colonised by marine life. No the real reason for these creations is to distract divers away from the natural coral reefs that were being destroyed. 

 

Take Cancun for instance, the divers and snorkellers visiting the reef near Isla Mujere were having an unfortunate impact on the ecosystem. Coral was being damaged, leaching sunscreen was apparently poisoning the wildlife (and we'll be dealing with that in another post) and the sheer volume of bubble blowers visiting the reef was stressing the whole environment. Divers and snorkellers, often the most ecologically aware of tourists, were quite literally wrecking the place by their presence. Something had to be done to give the natural reefs some relief. So locals, conservationists and some arty folk got together and created an artificial site by dropping some concrete balls into the water in the hope that divers would want to see these rather than the natural reef. It didn't work. A concrete ball is after all a concrete ball until it is colonised and local dive operators and visiting divers were not impressed. As Robert Diaz, President of the Cancun Nautical Association put it: ““We have to bring tourists here. There was nothing to see. There were no fish. Just big balls that are empty—just horrible.”

The Director of the Isla Mujeres National Park in Cancun, Jaime Gonzalez became frustrated and considered closing the reef all together but this wasn't feasible. The answer came when Gonzalez discovered some art installations in Grenada. What if you could have something that wasn't an underwater eyesore before it became colonised by algae and coral – how about some statues. Enter Jason deCaires Taylor and the Cancun underwater museum was born. In fact so successful was the project that some dive operators complained that marine colonisation of the ghostly statues was ruining the show. This lead to Gonzalez cleaning the algae off half the statues by hand using steel wool and leaving the other half to continue being colonised. On Grenada, where Jason's statues were installed for the same reason as in Cancun, tourism has boomed with roughly half of all divers having been diverted away from the natural reef. Early indications seem to show that the same is happening in Cancun. Other artists are now getting involved and there are talks of having ten-thousand statues on the site in Cancun within the next ten years. 

 

Worrying don't you think? No? Okay let's explain. Firstly, let's ignore the fact that some environmental purists are appalled and argue that dumping statues, cars or concrete blocks into the sea is exactly that, dumping. With all the potential issues of changing the diversity of marine life and behaviour.

We'll also ignore the fact that some scientists dispute that divers and snorkellers are the reason the reefs are being damaged. Instead they cite pollution from the resorts and rising sea temperatures as the real culprits. The resorts are now booming so pollution levels are likely to get worse not better. 

But as we said, we'll ignore all that. The problem we have is that these underwater museums are not cheap. In Cancun, it cost $12000 to create and install each statue and that cost needs to be recouped. Which means you are going to be charged to visit them. And how long will it be before someone hits on the idea of charging for visiting the natural reefs? And we're not talking about the tour operator costs of taking a boat out to see them. We're talking about an extra charge. A tax. And how long will it be before someone gets the bright idea that viewing the underwater world as a whole, not just the reefs and sunken statues is a chargeable activity? In which case Snorkellers and divers entering the water from the beach, rather than taking an operators boat, are likely to be seen as tax dodgers and thus someone will want to bring in a charge for just going in the water! And don't think we are being absurd here. When environmentalism, economics and Art come to together, rationality goes out the window or the porthole for that matter. 

After all what diver would rather view a set of concrete statues rather than a natural reef? What snorkeller would rather look down on a series of fuzzy grey heads than on a vibrant natural landscape? And what kind of tourist is so oblivious to world crises that they can only get their consciences pricked by viewing a sunken depiction of refugees from a glass bottom boat? In fact when we think about it, underwater museums are not worrying, they are depressing. Have we really got to the stage when divers, snorkellers and freedivers would rather visit a man-made underwater structure in Cancun that looks exactly the same as the man-made installation in Grenada or the Bahamas or even Lanzarote than the amazingly diverse, stunningly beautiful and for the moment, absolutely free structures of the natural underwater world? Because if we have, that really would be absurd. 

 

By the way, according to Jason's own website, freediving on the Cancun installations is not allowed without a life jacket! Now we're not sure how you can freedive with a flotation device around your neck but we'll leave you, the reader, to work out the reason behind that little rule. We have already organised a trip to Lanzarote later this year, so we'll probably be re-visiting the idea of underwater museums then.

More reading

Jason deCaires Taylor's website

Scientific American website

BBC News website

New York Times website

Huffington Post website

Smithsonian Magazine

PBS website

Last Word On Nothing blog