The Great Snorkelling Myths Debunked

 

Oh crap, I forget the tube thing

You don't need to be able to swim to go snorkelling!

Many snorkelling safari companies and tours claim that anyone can go snorkelling and that being able to swim is a benefit and not a necessity. Yeah right...! The only way that such a claim could ever be true is if you plan to snorkel in the bath. The truth is that if you cannot swim you cannot snorkel. The ocean is potentially a very dangerous place and heading into its embrace without the most basic skill of swimming is simply asking for trouble. So don't believe the snorkelling company idiots that tell you otherwise, they're setting you up to drown. Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim!

You don't need to be fit to go snorkelling!

No one is suggesting that you have to be an Olympic athlete to go snorkelling. That said though, if you cannot walk up a flight of stairs without breaking out in a heavy sweat and wheezing like an asthmatic hippo, then it would be fair to say that snorkelling is not really for you. Snorkelling - at least the more exciting, energetic variety rather than the easybreath full-face mask wearing bobbing about stuff - takes effort. Your breathing will be limited by the snorkel, you will use muscles that you didn't realise you had and your body will have to deal with cold water, currents and waves. It's worth noting that the majority of people who drown while snorkelling have two things in common, they can't swim very well and they are unfit. So if you have to pop several pills before meals, need an inhaler to help you breath and start sweating like a sumo wrestler in a sauna when reaching for the TV remote control then you'd best think very carefully about donning the old mask and flippers and diving into the big blue. Wanna snorkel? Learn to swim and work on your fitness.

You only need a cheap mask and some flappy-paddle things for your feet to go snorkelling!

Snorkelling is in fact snorkel diving or skin diving and differs from SCUBA diving in many ways, not least in the fact that you don't need several burly men to carry all your equipment around but don't think that all you need to enjoy a snorkelling adventure is a cheap bright green mask and a pair of rubber swim fins from the nearest tourist shop. Cheap means cheap it doesn't mean good. In fact cheap means crap... If you buy crap stuff you'll have a crap experience. This doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune, just invest wisely. A decent mask can cost as little as £30, a decent snorkel no more than £20 and a decent pair of fins around £30-40. Chuck in a rash vest and wetsuit for good measure and you'll probably spend no more than £200. OK, that can seem a lot but think of it this way. A cheap snorkelling set will probably set you back £30 and will probably fall apart in a week. This means that you'll probably have to buy a new set every year. A decent set of gear will probably last you ten years, perhaps even a lifetime if you look after them. So in the long run it will work out cheaper and you will of course have a much better experience. Wanna snorkel? Learn to swim, work on your fitness and invest in some decent equipment.

Less is sometimes more

You don't need anyone else with you to go snorkelling!

Ah yes, the great “I can do this all by myself” myth. There is of course nothing to stop you snorkelling alone apart from the fact it is idiotic. Let's think about this for a second. Do you know any sport, activity or past time that is more enjoyable to do solo. If you do, you probably need to get some friends and very probably a girlfriend! Going snorkelling alone is not only less enjoyable it is foolhardy. If you get into trouble who's going to help? Who's going to raise the alarm? In fact who knows where you are and what you are doing? Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim, work on your fitness, invest in some decent gear and never, ever snorkel alone.

Snorkelling can only be done in hot climates and warm seas!

It's true to say that snorkelling is a lot easier when the sun is shining, the water is warm and the pristine white sand beach is littered with beautiful people wearing very little. However, just because it's cold, the sea is a bit rough and those beautiful people are a bit blubbery around the middle and you wish they'd put their bloody clothes back on, doesn’t mean you can't snorkel. After all it's not the stuff above the surface that should be interesting you anyway, it's the stuff beneath the water. So ignore all the twaddle about snorkelling being a tropical island sport and get adventurous. Iceland, Scotland, Ireland, England, Northern France and a great many other colder climes offer some superb snorkelling. Of course you are going to need to wear a bit more than a pair of speedos if you're planning on diving beneath these waters, but don't let that put you off, a decent cold water wetsuit isn't that expensive and you could even invest in a drysuit. Trust us on this, coral reefs and shoals of brightly coloured fish are great but cold water kelp forests and rocky shores can be just as interesting so don't always follow the crowd. Be different and dip you toes, so to speak, in the less snorkelled locales. Wanna snorkel? Then learn to swim, work on your fitness, invest in some decent gear, never snorkel alone and be adventurous in your choice of destination.
 

Eric and his friends found the local marine life very interesting

Snorkelling is just for children and old people!

If you believe this then your name is probably Brad. You no doubt have a PADI instructor's certification card in your pocket, wear t-shirts emblazoned with military logos and bore everyone rigid with your belief that you would have been a Colonel in the Green Berets by now if it hadn't been for your congenitally flat-feet and saggy man breasts. Thinking that snorkelling is some sort of “sissy” younger brother of diving says more about the thinker than it says about the thought. It's as ludicrous as thinking that women can't be diving instructors, men can't be nurses or that the Ama divers just do it to show off their breasts. Snorkelling can be sedate. It can be exhilarating. But it never has been and never will be the “sissy” brother of anything. It is a sport that is accessible, requiring only a modest investment in equipment and can open up the wonders of the marine world to young and old alike. But like everything it is not for everyone. If you can't swim, can't handle breathing through a tube, are scared of water touching your face or have an unswerving belief that men should wear camouflage clothing festooned with lots and lots of badges at all times, then snorkelling really isn't for you. If however you can swim, are reasonably fit, aren't afraid of getting your face wet and are not a gold-plated twat called Brad then don't belief all the myths and dive in. You won't regret it. 

She's tougher than you Brad and she's supposed to have breasts